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discipline advice

Posted by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 12:04 PM
  • 18 Replies

I need some advice on disciplining my children. My son and step daughter are around the same age and totally different. My son is right where he should be for his age(age 5) where my step daughter(age 5) is behind. She doesn't understand things as well, and has a harder time listening. I am not to sure what is going on with her yet. I have a few ideas though. One thing she has no structure or rules at her moms but has them in our house hold. Makes it harder on her when she goes back and forth.

Anyways i don't feel i shiould be as hard on her as my son so i am looking for some new ideas and tips that will work best for her.

Thanks

by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 12:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sara82lee
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 12:13 PM
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I'm not sure what to tell you, bc we try to treat all of our kids equitably and have similar age appropriate expectations and rules for them. But we don't have any kids with any developmental issues. If you think she has some type of disorder, whether or not it's diagnosed, you can read about and implement strategies for dealing with that type of disorder. If you think it's just a structure issue and difference between households, the best thing you can do is be consistent. When my sd first moved in with us, we had a bit of a transition period and it helped for her to have written on a whiteboard in her room a reminder of what we expected of her and a checklist for things like making her bed and brushing her teeth that she could mark off as she did them.
Silent_Sea
by Gold Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 12:25 PM
2 moms liked this
Can you give an example of a situation where you feel like she is not responding?
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 12:25 PM
2 moms liked this

Kids are different.  There is probably absolutely nothing wrong with SD.  Every parent with multiple children knows that the second chid is parented differently than the first and the third.

Stop looking for a reason to blame BM.  Even if it is her, which I doubt, whatever behavior is demonstrated in your home is the behavior you have to deal with.  Stop comparing her to your son.  They are different children is so many ways.

italiangyrl00
by New Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 2:44 PM

sara thanks for the tips I will look some stuff up.

silent sea she has a harder time holding a full conversation and is not really able to properly answer a question. example- Q: why were you put in time out. A: because i was in trouble. she has a harder time following directions.

pdxmum you have your own opinion but you do not know the full story so please do not put words in my mouth. you can not really say there is nothng wrong when you are not around. I know every child is different and i was not comparing her to my son i was asking for different ways to help her. I am not trying to find somethiing wrong or blame anyone i said the other household is different. If you have no helpful tips please dont respond

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 2:47 PM

Kids develop at different rates.  What does your DH think about it? Does he see what you're seeing? 

italiangyrl00
by New Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 2:52 PM

I know all kids develop at a different pace. Yes he sees what I am seeing and we are trying to get her help. I am just asking for some different discipline ideas

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 2:59 PM
What kinds of things do you feel you need discipline help with? I guess that would help.
Silent_Sea
by Gold Member on Feb. 22, 2014 at 3:24 PM
If communicating is the primary issue. I would try to engage her when your son isn't there. It is common for older or more articulate children to speak for the younger less articulate children.

I would be sure I was setting up consistent structured days. Kids need their days structured so be sure she is on a schedule. Getting up at the same time. Lunch at the same time. Rest or naps, Playtime and activities are all on a set schedule. Then follow a bedtime routine. I'd give time at bedtime where someone reads to her and talks about her day. Get her to talk more where it is one on one without your son.

It may just be her temperament but this will give you the time alone where she doesn't have to compete and allow you to really assess to give the doctors a better understanding of your concerns.
AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Feb. 22, 2014 at 4:01 PM
I'm not sure how her answer is wrong. She's 5. Some kids are more verbal than others. DD could speak sentences clearly by 18 months. Nothing long but she was clearly very verbal and easily understood. I think at 5 if I'd asked her why she was in time out and she gave a similar answer I would have said "and what did you do to get into trouble" if I was trying to drive the point home.

I'm curious how you know what type of structure she has at BMs. How often is she with you all as opposed to BMs?

Quoting italiangyrl00:

sara thanks for the tips I will look some stuff up.


silent sea she has a harder time holding a full conversation and is not really able to properly answer a question. example- Q: why were you put in time out. A: because i was in trouble. she has a harder time following directions.


pdxmum you have your own opinion but you do not know the full story so please do not put words in my mouth. you can not really say there is nothng wrong when you are not around. I know every child is different and i was not comparing her to my son i was asking for different ways to help her. I am not trying to find somethiing wrong or blame anyone i said the other household is different. If you have no helpful tips please dont respond

AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Feb. 22, 2014 at 4:05 PM
And does "if you have nothing helpful please do not respond" mean "if you don't say something I want to hear then don't talk to me". This is a group of many women. You can't pick and choose who's going to respond to what you post. As was suggested in an earlier post, if you don't like the advice or information given don't respond to it...read it....use it, etc.

Quoting italiangyrl00:

sara thanks for the tips I will look some stuff up.


silent sea she has a harder time holding a full conversation and is not really able to properly answer a question. example- Q: why were you put in time out. A: because i was in trouble. she has a harder time following directions.


pdxmum you have your own opinion but you do not know the full story so please do not put words in my mouth. you can not really say there is nothng wrong when you are not around. I know every child is different and i was not comparing her to my son i was asking for different ways to help her. I am not trying to find somethiing wrong or blame anyone i said the other household is different. If you have no helpful tips please dont respond

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