When dsd (11) comes back from mom's house she reeks of cigarette smoke. Bm never smoked around her until the last couple of months, so it was never an issue. Dh has asked bm to please not smoke in the car with dsd. Dsd has complained about the second hand smoke and does not like the way it smells
So my question is: Is it wrong for me to re-wash the clothes from dsd's bag and tell her to take a shower when she comes home? Tonight for example, she's already had a shower at bm's house before she got here, and bm washed all of her clothes including the hoodie sweater that dsd wears ALL the time. I could smell her before I saw her. So, I told her to put the sweater and the bag in the laundry room and I'd wash them in the morning, and told her (gently) that she should take a shower in the morning before school. She threw an all out fit about it, because she wants her sweater (even though she has at least ten more this one is her favorite) and she took a shower earlier.
She stinks. That's not my fault. Am I supposed to just let her stink, or have her wash the stink off?
I'm not judging or bashing bm at all. I don't like what she's doing but I can't stop it from happening.
UPDATE: Ok, now I'm angry. Dsd went into the laundry room this morning and took out the sweater and the bag of clothes. She wore the sweater to school and put the stinky clothes in the dresser with all of her clean clothes. I spent the entire freaking weekend doing laundry (including ironing dsd's stuff because she hates to be wrinkled) and now I have to re-wash and entire dresser and closet full of clothes because my dsd doesn't know how to follow instructions. It's all I can smell upstairs. It feels like an almost petty thing to be mad about, but I am seriously pissed off and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it from happening other than refusing to allow dsd to bring clothes from home to her mom's house.