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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

No rights & I'm about sick of it!

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:42 AM
  • 182 Replies

I'm the step mom of 2 girls. I have no rights where these girls are concerned, I help take care of them, support them ect, but Mom decided to move the girls 5 states away and we are in a battle to get them back to TX. Because I sent an email to their school, I was referred to as harassing the school. My stepdad raised me and I take very seriously my role in their lives, mom has took off to Ohio many times and we had the girls sometimes 20+ days at a time while paying her  $1000.00 a month in support, Dont get me wrong, I don't have a problem with the support, what I do have a problem with is supporting them in 2 places. But my biggest concern is their well being. Since she has moved them she refuses to tell us their physical address & has restricted their phones to where we cannot call them after 7pm on a FRI/SAT night. My blood is boiling because the girls and I had a close bond but now that she has moved them away I can tell she is filling them full of lies, the oldest knows that her mom cheated on her dad with the man she's with, she has since had a baby by him and used that as a bargining tool to get them to move. Their dad is a awesome dad, always there for his girls and it breaks my heart to see him suffer because mom is keeping them from havinf any real contact with him. The fact that I have no rights when it comes to these girls blows my mind. I'm the one that was with the oldest when she started her period, I was the one that explained pads, & tampons, while her mother was 5 states away. This just blows my mind, i'm a hard working woman in the INS field but I'm also a police officer, to tosay I'm shocked is mild, I'm really blown away. Any thoughts would be appreciated

by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:45 AM
4 moms liked this
Is there a court order? What does it say about moving? What is your DH doing about it?

You don't need rights when Dad is doing what he's supposed to. Simply meaning.. Dad should make contact with lawyers, school etc
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:45 AM
3 moms liked this

Back off.  From this post you look like an overbearing SM.  Why did Mom move? Why didn't Dad file with the courts to stop her?

What happened with the school and your harassment?

WickedPissah
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:47 AM
9 moms liked this
Dammitt I taught my former sd how to tie her shoes and she still calls her mom, mom.

Wtf
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:48 AM
2 moms liked this

How does it feel to fail at life?

Quoting WickedPissah: Dammitt I taught my former sd how to tie her shoes and she still calls her mom, mom. Wtf


weebis
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:48 AM

How long have you been their stepmom?
What rights do you feel you should have?
 

FreedomTruth
by Bronze Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:50 AM
2 moms liked this

I was with my friends kid when she started and had to talk to her about it all. Does that make me mom too? I should automatically get rights to my friends kid because I am at all the big events in their life. No it makes me their mom's friend.

oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:55 AM
7 moms liked this
Cinty, the period thing doesn't make you more important. Hell, my SD started at school. The school RN beat both BM and myself to that one if you look at it that way.

What you REALLY need to ask yourself is NOT about rights, which the only right you DO have as a SP is to do no harm to the child and to not interfere in the PARENTS parenting of the child, but to look deep and ask yourself where this need to compete with BM comes from.

You will lose the competition, 100%. KIds love their parents, NO fault or failure of yours, it's just nature. Kids love their parents, MORE than SPs, just because, nature. It just is.

And when you compete with the parent YOU drive the kid away AND give the parent ammunition to push you out. Kids don't like to see their parents competed with. You will lose, 100%.

I would just reassess your approach.
WickedPissah
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I should of been written in the court order, at least.

Nothing screams rights then teaching a kid how to tie her shoes, and explaining tampons and pads.

Quoting WifeyC:

How does it feel to fail at life?

Quoting WickedPissah: Dammitt I taught my former sd how to tie her shoes and she still calls her mom, mom.

Wtf

WickedPissah
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:57 AM
Why did you email the school?
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:58 AM

True.  Don't worry, you are better than BM.

Quoting WickedPissah: I should of been written in the court order, at least. Nothing screams rights then teaching a kid how to tie her shoes, and explaining tampons and pads.
Quoting WifeyC:

How does it feel to fail at life?

Quoting WickedPissah: Dammitt I taught my former sd how to tie her shoes and she still calls her mom, mom. Wtf



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