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Getting flack for keeping married name!!

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:02 PM
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Ok SO and I are working out some issues, witch some I thought were previously worked out , anyways. SO has done some things this past spring in regards to BM that I thought were inappropriate(not infidelity) Just somethings he claims , "I have always done" its a bunch of little silly things in reality, It was just a build up for me. I questioned something recently and he gave me the same line but added "you know I am so used to doing it I don't really always think before I give an answer" Ya think !!! Anyways I was feeling rather bitchy and told him two plus years ago you divorced , but you did'nt think  change the way you deal with her? He then got defensive (witch I understand) and told me he found it offensive that I still had XH last name, and even SM did like it (I didn'tknow I was supposed to care about SM?) I know he was just blowing steam at me, he isnt happy with some of the decisions he has made because they have set the presidence for BM to continue to ask and ask and now he is getting grief from her about saying no.


I have 2 children with XH, I have had this name for over 10 years, I am known professionally by it plus when I married him he gave it to me and it is now my last name. I can keep it if I want to.

Am I wrong? is it some kind of attachment to XH to keep the same last name? Thoughts?

by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:02 PM
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by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:08 PM
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If DH and I divorced I would keep it for professional reasons as well.  I will never marry again so any future SO for me would have to suck it up and deal or go on down the road.  Any SM or SO of DH?  I couldn't give a crap less what she likes or don't like.

I agree with you.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:16 PM
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I kept my ex's last name as well - no personal attachment to it. I was too lazy and cheap to change it. It's just a name to me.

by Cher on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:29 PM
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I posted about this a few days ago, only because I wasn't sure what I would do. A lot of women said they kept it to match their children's, or because same thing, they are known professionally for it. I think that's why my husbands ex keeps his last name is because she doesn't plan to remarry, she's a business woman and she likes having the same name as her son. It bugs my dh, but like you said, he gave it to you, so now it's yours as well. Nothing wrong with it at all.
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:34 PM

I kept my married name.  It's my childrens last name.  They were young when XH and I divorced and I wanted their last name.  I have no attachment to my maiden name and did not want to go back to it (never would).  xFIL is still alive so I figure, it was his name first, and he wanted me to keep it, so I was good with that. Plus, like sid, I was too cheap and lazy to change it after a while anyway.  It's my kids name at this point, not XHs.  The name is associated with my boys, not XH.  I couldn't care less that SM has it too.  Besides, xMIL still has it as well and she and xFIL have been divorced for nearly 40 years now.  If she could keep it, so could I!  ;) 

by Silver Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:34 PM

Thanks ladies, I am really just venting I don't feel bad about it or want to change it. SO is tired of being called out on his stupid behaviour and I guess was trying to show me that I do it too.Not even close buddy.


XH didn't care if I kept it or not , I asked him when we were dividing up things , he only ever asked me once. That when SM didn't like it, I understand her POV, but still don't care , IF and that's a big If I get married again I would change it to my new DH name, but I will be retired from the Navy by then so it wont be a big deal in regards to my profession.

by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:43 PM
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 The Bm in my life has my Dh's last name still, she never changed her last name.  It doesnt bother me one bit.  The Difference is, she is Ms. (last name) and I am Mrs. (Last name) 

Your SO is being a butthead

by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:44 PM
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I kept my ex-husband's name but will change it once my fiance and I get married.
by Ruby Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:47 PM
No attachment. It was just something he could sling.
My husband can be a slinger at times too.

I kept my last name until I remarried. It was my last name. This is one area my husband has never even commented on though.
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by Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:52 PM
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if I married and divorced I would go back to my maiden name. I can't imagine having to live with my ex's name. i hate him enough, lol. I see nothing wrong with that if other people do it but it is definitely not something that I would want to do.
by Gold Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 3:23 PM

 If DH and I divorced I would keep my last name.  It is my childrens' last name and it has been mine, now, for 8 years.  It is who I am and how I am known.  I've always thought this was something silly to get upset about and SMs bring up their dislike of it quite often.  It's just a name.

I could see being upset if you kept your XHs last name after getting remarried but not just because you still have it...

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