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The Mom "role"

Posted by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:37 PM
  • 38 Replies
2 moms liked this

I'm a mom, not in a mom "role".

I'm not playing like I'm something or someone I'm not, I just am the mom.

Only those who aren't the mom use the word "role" as if there is some sort of opening when mom isn't around on weekends or half the time or even if dad has custody. There isn't an opening, though. Mom is mom at all times.

I doubt SM would allow mom to come into her home to take care of her children when dad won't or can't, so mom isn't not doing her job. Dad is supposed to step up and handle his children and take care of them when they are with him and that is why there is no opening. The parent slot is filled in both houses.

There are no try outs, there are no openings. There is just mom and dad and SM and SF.

If you feel you are playing a "mom" role in your home you have to understand on some level that means you're only pretending.

"To err is human, to arrrr is pirate."
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:54 PM
I've never understood that phrase when it's said here. "I'm the Mom in my house". I'm the mom here....I'm the mom at school, in the car, awake, asleep....I'm DDs mom. I'm also the SM in my house. I've never once alluded to SSs that I was their BM of even their stand in BM since she's not here, in my house. That just seems odd that someone would feel like they had to express that. I mean, I don't wear a sign or name tag. DDs friends are aware of who I am.

I don't allow it to define or hinder me either. I've never said "oh I can't do that. I'm the Mom". I have however in moments of feeling overwhelmed said "oh that's ok. MOM will do it. MOM has to do everything". At that point I'm probably cooking dinner and changing the oil on the car simultaneously. Lol

I've never in my life ever heard anyone say that aside from here on CM.
AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:55 PM

I couldn't agree more.  I've never understood "mom role" or "mom jobs."  What the heck is that, anyway?

If the parents are separated then the father should be fulfilling all the parenting obligations and needs in his home and the mom should be doing it in her home.  Washing laundry and cooking dinner or driving places and buying clothes does not make one a Mom or put her in that "role." It just means that in their house that's how it works. 

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:57 PM

 That's how it works in your house, too?  I thought I was the only one!

Quoting AmyB118: I've never understood that phrase when it's said here. "I'm the Mom in my house". I'm the mom here....I'm the mom at school, in the car, awake, asleep....I'm DDs mom. I'm also the SM in my house. I've never once alluded to SSs that I was their BM of even their stand in BM since she's not here, in my house. That just seems odd that someone would feel like they had to express that. I mean, I don't wear a sign or name tag. DDs friends are aware of who I am. I don't allow it to define or hinder me either. I've never said "oh I can't do that. I'm the Mom". I have however in moments of feeling overwhelmed said "oh that's ok. MOM will do it. MOM has to do everything". At that point I'm probably cooking dinner and changing the oil on the car simultaneously. Lol I've never in my life ever heard anyone say that aside from here on CM.

 

AmyB118
by NA Rocks on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:58 PM
Oh HELL no!! You are not alone. Some days I wonder what everyone else does all damn day. I told DD the other day she's going to be in for a rude awakening when she moves out and the maid doesn't go too. Lol

Quoting AmericanDream:

 That's how it works in your house, too?  I thought I was the only one!


Quoting AmyB118: I've never understood that phrase when it's said here. "I'm the Mom in my house". I'm the mom here....I'm the mom at school, in the car, awake, asleep....I'm DDs mom. I'm also the SM in my house. I've never once alluded to SSs that I was their BM of even their stand in BM since she's not here, in my house. That just seems odd that someone would feel like they had to express that. I mean, I don't wear a sign or name tag. DDs friends are aware of who I am. I don't allow it to define or hinder me either. I've never said "oh I can't do that. I'm the Mom". I have however in moments of feeling overwhelmed said "oh that's ok. MOM will do it. MOM has to do everything". At that point I'm probably cooking dinner and changing the oil on the car simultaneously. Lol I've never in my life ever heard anyone say that aside from here on CM.

 

Jscott1216
by Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:59 PM
2 moms liked this

To each his/her own. Why do you care what others call themselves in THEIR families? Pointless post

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this
It's not like I can come in here and say I'm mom. But I function as mom. So the way you say it here is that is my role.
EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 8:22 PM
*shrug* agreed. I am a mom. to my kids. I am a stepmom. To sd. I treat them all the same when they are here. That doesn't change the fact that i am mom to my kids and stepmom to sd.
CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Mar. 1, 2014 at 8:23 PM
im mom in my home to my child, I play a mom role to her only
Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 1, 2014 at 8:49 PM

I'm with you on that. I'm telling you my family wouldn't know what to do if I didn't trail after them picking up .


Quoting AmyB118: Oh HELL no!! You are not alone. Some days I wonder what everyone else does all damn day. I told DD the other day she's going to be in for a rude awakening when she moves out and the maid doesn't go too. Lol
Quoting AmericanDream:

 That's how it works in your house, too?  I thought I was the only one!

Quoting AmyB118: I've never understood that phrase when it's said here. "I'm the Mom in my house". I'm the mom here....I'm the mom at school, in the car, awake, asleep....I'm DDs mom. I'm also the SM in my house. I've never once alluded to SSs that I was their BM of even their stand in BM since she's not here, in my house. That just seems odd that someone would feel like they had to express that. I mean, I don't wear a sign or name tag. DDs friends are aware of who I am. I don't allow it to define or hinder me either. I've never said "oh I can't do that. I'm the Mom". I have however in moments of feeling overwhelmed said "oh that's ok. MOM will do it. MOM has to do everything". At that point I'm probably cooking dinner and changing the oil on the car simultaneously. Lol I've never in my life ever heard anyone say that aside from here on CM.

 


iSMILEheCRIES
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 8:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Hell sometimes I feel like I am pretending. I look around and am like "mom? why do they keep calling me that?" I do what others describe as "mom jobs" but so does a maid or daycare provider. I am my biokids' mom, ss calls me mom-because his mom is deceased and he never really knew her, and I am dad's wife to my older 2 stepkids even though I cook their food, check their homework, taxi them, and schedule doc appts but that's my role as the person in our home who doesn't bring in income..basically my dh "pays" me to stay home and tend his kids while I tend mine. But if I'm gonna pretend, I'm gonna pretend to be something way cooler than a mom
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