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BM texting bad things about BD

Posted by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:16 PM
  • 24 Replies
Just curious on what you all think. Last weekend was our weekend with his kids. BD and I had a prior obligation that we had to be gone for a few hours so SS stayed home with his brother. BM texts SS asking what he was doing. SS says watching TV and
Playing video games. She asked where we were and how long we had been gone (how did she know we were even gone??) SS says at a
Meeting and not gone long... Bio
Mom proceeds to trash bio dad in text to 12 yr old son about not being there on his weekend. We are supposed to have 50/50 time which bio mom has refused to allow. We are gone for two hours and she not only knows but is trashing BD for not being there. When we have the kids we are with them 24/7 and maybe once every few
Months have to leave them for a few hours. I was livid at her rude remarks to SS and it just reinforced that she talks trash about BD and myself to the kids. How would any of you handled it??? I let BD handle it which was basically him doing nothing!
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
3munschkins
by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:22 PM

BM did this alot and we took screen shots of the text messages.  When she tried to file contempt against my DH we used it against her. 

If the CO states you are to have the kids 50/50 and she is refusing visitation I hope you are getting police reports and documenting that.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:23 PM
2 moms liked this

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.

Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.

Pookie2014
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:29 PM
There is a CO but she feels she can dictate when they do and don't come. We did have two nights a week plus ever other weekend with an extra night thrown in... She TELLS BM he can't have them one night a week now. She claims it's the kids decision but it always happens after a disagreement or argument. I completely avoid all contact with BM to keep drama away. BD has been dealing with this for so long now he's tired of battling her. I will let him to start keeping screenshots of her texts refusing our visits. Honestly I think she's gearing up to try and get full custody vs joint just for the extra income it will get her. BD feels that's her motives too!

Quoting WifeyC:

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.

Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.

Pookie2014
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:38 PM
BM tends to think if BD has them only every other weekend it will show she has them more and get her more
Money in child
Support. I may have
Misspoken and considered it full custody but that was my meaning. She already gets child support and he pays for extras
Like cell phones and 1/2 of everything for school an sports. But if she wants more she has to prove he isn't seeing the kids as much as she does. It's a screwed up system where we live.

Quoting mb1111:

 How will refusing BD time gear her up to get full custody?  I'm my opinion that will do the opposite for her assuming your DH is keeping documentation of when she refuses time.  Your DH should really consider filing contempt IMO.


Quoting Pookie2014: There is a CO but she feels she can dictate when they do and don't come. We did have two nights a week plus ever other weekend with an extra night thrown in... She TELLS BM he can't have them one night a week now. She claims it's the kids decision but it always happens after a disagreement or argument. I completely avoid all contact with BM to keep drama away. BD has been dealing with this for so long now he's tired of battling her. I will let him to start keeping screenshots of her texts refusing our visits. Honestly I think she's gearing up to try and get full custody vs joint just for the extra income it will get her. BD feels that's her motives too!
Quoting WifeyC:

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.


Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.


 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:40 PM

If BD is supposed to have 50/50 why isn't he enforcing the CO?

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:42 PM

That will only work if BD isn't fighting for his current CO'ed custody time.

If she's refusing to let him have more than EOWE, and he doesn't do anything about it, then she's well within her rights to go back to court and prove that BD isn't taking his fully offered custody time. 

Quoting Pookie2014: There is a CO but she feels she can dictate when they do and don't come. We did have two nights a week plus ever other weekend with an extra night thrown in... She TELLS BM he can't have them one night a week now. She claims it's the kids decision but it always happens after a disagreement or argument. I completely avoid all contact with BM to keep drama away. BD has been dealing with this for so long now he's tired of battling her. I will let him to start keeping screenshots of her texts refusing our visits. Honestly I think she's gearing up to try and get full custody vs joint just for the extra income it will get her. BD feels that's her motives too!
Quoting WifeyC:

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.

Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.


Pookie2014
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:46 PM
BD is very non confrontational and is giving it time to see if he can work it out without court. It's been a few
Months and to me she just gets worse and worse about dictating when we have them. He's an optimist so he wants to try and work it out peacefully

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

That will only work if BD isn't fighting for his current CO'ed custody time.If she's refusing to let him have more than EOWE, and he doesn't do anything about it, then she's well within her rights to go back to court and prove that BD isn't taking his fully offered custody time. 

Quoting Pookie2014: There is a CO but she feels she can dictate when they do and don't come. We did have two nights a week plus ever other weekend with an extra night thrown in... She TELLS BM he can't have them one night a week now. She claims it's the kids decision but it always happens after a disagreement or argument. I completely avoid all contact with BM to keep drama away. BD has been dealing with this for so long now he's tired of battling her. I will let him to start keeping screenshots of her texts refusing our visits. Honestly I think she's gearing up to try and get full custody vs joint just for the extra income it will get her. BD feels that's her motives too!

Quoting WifeyC:

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.

Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:49 PM

It's going to end very badly for him if he allows this to continue.

Quoting Pookie2014: BD is very non confrontational and is giving it time to see if he can work it out without court. It's been a few Months and to me she just gets worse and worse about dictating when we have them. He's an optimist so he wants to try and work it out peacefully
Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

That will only work if BD isn't fighting for his current CO'ed custody time.If she's refusing to let him have more than EOWE, and he doesn't do anything about it, then she's well within her rights to go back to court and prove that BD isn't taking his fully offered custody time. 

Quoting Pookie2014: There is a CO but she feels she can dictate when they do and don't come. We did have two nights a week plus ever other weekend with an extra night thrown in... She TELLS BM he can't have them one night a week now. She claims it's the kids decision but it always happens after a disagreement or argument. I completely avoid all contact with BM to keep drama away. BD has been dealing with this for so long now he's tired of battling her. I will let him to start keeping screenshots of her texts refusing our visits. Honestly I think she's gearing up to try and get full custody vs joint just for the extra income it will get her. BD feels that's her motives too!
Quoting WifeyC:

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.

Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.



Pookie2014
by on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:53 PM
I agree... It's a fine line to know when and if to step in! My existence causes the BM issues so my involvement would only add fuel to the fire. But I will give my Hubby the advise and start a file on these numerous instances.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

It's going to end very badly for him if he allows this to continue.

Quoting Pookie2014: BD is very non confrontational and is giving it time to see if he can work it out without court. It's been a few
Months and to me she just gets worse and worse about dictating when we have them. He's an optimist so he wants to try and work it out peacefully

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

That will only work if BD isn't fighting for his current CO'ed custody time.If she's refusing to let him have more than EOWE, and he doesn't do anything about it, then she's well within her rights to go back to court and prove that BD isn't taking his fully offered custody time. 

Quoting Pookie2014: There is a CO but she feels she can dictate when they do and don't come. We did have two nights a week plus ever other weekend with an extra night thrown in... She TELLS BM he can't have them one night a week now. She claims it's the kids decision but it always happens after a disagreement or argument. I completely avoid all contact with BM to keep drama away. BD has been dealing with this for so long now he's tired of battling her. I will let him to start keeping screenshots of her texts refusing our visits. Honestly I think she's gearing up to try and get full custody vs joint just for the extra income it will get her. BD feels that's her motives too!

Quoting WifeyC:

There really is no handling it.  BM trashes DH and myself on a daily basis to the kids.  Talking to her made it worse, so the boys have learned to ignore her.

Why don't you have 50/50?  If there is a CO for that then she can't just refuse.

3munschkins
by Member on Mar. 3, 2014 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree!  He needs to file contempt ASAP!  He needs documentation for ALL of the days that she has not allowed the kids to come and screenshots of her texts to the kids. 

If he continues to allow this then the judge will think he has been ok with it and a pattern will form and then she will get the kids more.

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