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Is it just me or...

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:41 PM
  • 20 Replies
Is it just me or am I just nuts? If your bio child didn't live with you, wouldn't you call or email or
even try to show up to see them?

I just don't understand how any parent wouldn't want to call their bio child. Whenever my bio and step kid are with their grandparents for visit, I still call because I dont want a day to go by without me telling them that I love them and to see if they are okay. Even if they grow up and decide they don't want to talk to me, I know I will still call (even if I have to be put on speaker phone so they can hear me) just so they know I'm still there for them.

I just don't understand how any parent could claim that they miss their child but doesn't do anything to show it! And I mean going months and months without trying to contact.
by on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:44 PM

So what did Bm do now?

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:51 PM
My ex doesn't call our daughter. He never has. I don't even think about it. I kind of just accept that he apparently doesn't feel the need to call her on my parenting time. It's not what I would want as an NCP but I accept that this is how he is
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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:55 PM

Honestly, BM doesn't ever call or text SD outside of her visitation. It doesn't effect SD, so why should I dwell on it?

Special3kids
by Member on Mar. 4, 2014 at 11:59 PM
Nothing, no contact what so ever... and that's the problem. In Jan she emailed my dh saying that she was taking us back to court because she wanted my dh to force visitation and she was getting money (which she won't even pay any court ordered cs) . She went on to claim that she is so depressed be she doesn't know my SD13. So my dh again reminds her that she could call and if my SD didn't want to talk to her, he would put her on speaker phone so she could talk and my SD would have to listen. She hasn't try to call since July, and my SD called her in August to tell her she was done with the abuse and neglect.
But instead of calling, she disappeared again. No emails, no contact what's so ever. My SD is used to it but I know she is just trying to be strong. I have a feeling she wants her Bm to prove that my SD is priority... But my SD is adament that she just wants her Bm to stay away. It's just confusing to me that any parent wouldn't want to do anything to know their child.
Quoting pdxmum:

So what did Bm do now?

Special3kids
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 12:02 AM
I really shouldn't dwell on it. But I see how it affects my SD. And Bm has been in and out of my sd's life for 10 yrs.
Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Honestly, BM doesn't ever call or text SD outside of her visitation. It doesn't effect SD, so why should I dwell on it?

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 2:34 AM
1 mom liked this
All i can recommend is a good counselor for your SD. My SD's BM takes visitstion, well technically BM's mom takes the visitstion BM just lives in the same house. That makes things pretty difficult for SD and she often comes home very upset.

It sucks, and I hate seeing SD hurt, but i have no control over the actions of another adult. I can't make BM be the mom that i think SD deserves.

Quoting Special3kids: I really shouldn't dwell on it. But I see how it affects my SD. And Bm has been in and out of my sd's life for 10 yrs.
Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Honestly, BM doesn't ever call or text SD outside of her visitation. It doesn't effect SD, so why should I dwell on it?

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 8:49 AM
I agree I don't see how someone can go months w/o seeing or talkin to their child. Some parents do go a few days w/o talking to them tho. My DH and BM have a EOW schedule. He may talk to his kids once or twice that week they're w/BM. He doesn't call everyday b/c he doesn't want to feel like he's butting in w/her time.
Special3kids
by Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:03 AM
Whenever (like one or twice a year) my in laws want and have the kids for a week long visit, my SD makes us promise to call her everyday at a certain time, so we just set a reminder on our phone. We' don't mind bc we miss them and it makes them happy and feel wanted and loved. My DH has told this to the Bm so many times and she just never did it. When my SD asked her why not, she tells her that she has other stuff more important and it devestates my SD. I know there isn't anything I can do, but it just frustrates me that someone can just blow off their child.
Quoting Leigh84: I agree I don't see how someone can go months w/o seeing or talkin to their child. Some parents do go a few days w/o talking to them tho. My DH and BM have a EOW schedule. He may talk to his kids once or twice that week they're w/BM. He doesn't call everyday b/c he doesn't want to feel like he's butting in w/her time.
LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:43 AM
2 moms liked this

I don't understand it either, nor do I try to; it is a waste of time and energy - time and energy I can spend on and with my kids.  I teach the kids to accpet reality as it is and make their own joy and happiness and that the lacking of another is NOT a reflection on who they are or their worth.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 9:46 AM

I dont understand it either.  But I see the ones on here who have parents that want to call their child and the other parent has a hissy fit over it. The control aspect.  In some cases parents give up the fight of begging and pleading to see their kids let alone talk to them.    Sad.  Abdonment issues to a child are heartbreaking.  Kids need both parents. Its hard being the parent trying to comfort them when they feel like the other parent does not care. 

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