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I am really proud of DH. Holy hell, he stood up to BM!

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:12 PM
  • 33 Replies
5 moms liked this

In case you missed it, the latest is that BM sprung it on us that SD14 was getting braces this week and wanted us to pay 1500 up front with less than a week's notice.  (ortho had been saying that he didn't think she needed them all along, but that has changed)

There was some drama (though I was happily insulated from it) but ultimately, SD got her braces and we are only paying the CO'd portion which we've now paid up front and BM has a payment plan that is in her name only. 

I am SO proud of DH for standing up to her on this. I know it's been a week of email battles but this is the very first time BM has been told that she is going to have to support her children as well.  She's all "I'm going to have to refinance my car, I can't afford this, you have to pay for it, yada yada" and then "If you're not going to pay for it, we'll just cancel the appointment!"  but DH stood his ground.

We pay a hefty bit of CS and have paid for everything medical in the past so this is HUGE.  Turns out, even in a 50/50, DH pays CS and we also have 80/20 responsibility for the medical/dental.  So BM only has to come up with 480 over 10 mos.  We paid 500 today and have to come with the additional 1420 which I hope to pay tomorrow.  But then we're done. 

Note: Total crickets when DH mentioned to her that we paid 100% for SD16's braces.  I know we'll never see that money, but at least she is being asked/told to come up with her portion THIS time.

This is the very first time DH has EVER told BM she was going to have to pay for something herself.  I am SO PROUD OF HIM!!!



by on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:22 PM

 Baby steps....

Great news!!

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:26 PM
Victory!!!! It must feel good! Now that he know he can do it and that she will not dissolve and float away in the breeze, he will be able to do it again. I hope this is the start of good things :)

Speaking of....has that new job started???
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Good for him for standing up for himself. If all BM has to pay is $480 over 10 months she's doing good.

I know my mom paid much more than that for my braces. My dad had passed away so she didn't have anyone to share that expense with.
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this

It does feel good.  I told DH that I would make sure that we have money set aside for the rest in case she doesn't pay so SD won't get screwed either way, but dang....I'm happy that he has taken this step.

As far as the job.  Yeah, I started last Wednesday.  It's keeping me very busy.  LOVE IT!  It's crazy and hard and chaotic right now, but I still love it.



Quoting HopesNDreams: Victory!!!! It must feel good! Now that he know he can do it and that she will not dissolve and float away in the breeze, he will be able to do it again. I hope this is the start of good things :) Speaking of....has that new job started???


bottomline
by Silver Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:41 PM

 Woo-Hoo!! That is fantastic news and must feel wonderful to your household. What will he do next? lmbo

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I know it's silly...but still.  It's the small things. 

Quoting bottomline:

 Woo-Hoo!! That is fantastic news and must feel wonderful to your household. What will he do next? lmbo


jlg12678
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM

If she set up a payment plan with the ortho and doesn't pay they will come after her once the treatment is done.  My dh is still dealing with this with his ex who has only paid $175 in the past year towards the $1500 bill she owes...payment plans are in each name and each are only responsible for their portion.  They still continue treatment even with bm now being nine months behind.

Don't make her not paying her portion your problem. Seriously. Your husband took a step in holding her responsible...keep it that way.

Quoting Birdseed:

It does feel good.  I told DH that I would make sure that we have money set aside for the rest in case she doesn't pay so SD won't get screwed either way, but dang....I'm happy that he has taken this step.

As far as the job.  Yeah, I started last Wednesday.  It's keeping me very busy.  LOVE IT!  It's crazy and hard and chaotic right now, but I still love it.

 

 

Quoting HopesNDreams: Victory!!!! It must feel good! Now that he know he can do it and that she will not dissolve and float away in the breeze, he will be able to do it again. I hope this is the start of good things :) Speaking of....has that new job started???

 

 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:51 PM

 well its a start. and im glad i dont live in your state. while one parent may have to pay something ina  50/50 it isnt hefty unless one parent is very rich and the other is poor.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:52 PM

Good for him....

And I REALLY wish bm would get a clue on how good she's had it...I know of very few who would put up with her lack of contributing as your dh has....

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Mar. 5, 2014 at 1:53 PM

Our ortho won't take them OFF til you pay the bill.  Or at least that was my understanding before. 

Quoting jlg12678:

If she set up a payment plan with the ortho and doesn't pay they will come after her once the treatment is done.  My dh is still dealing with this with his ex who has only paid $175 in the past year towards the $1500 bill she owes...payment plans are in each name and each are only responsible for their portion.  They still continue treatment even with bm now being nine months behind.

Don't make her not paying her portion your problem. Seriously. Your husband took a step in holding her responsible...keep it that way.

Quoting Birdseed:

It does feel good.  I told DH that I would make sure that we have money set aside for the rest in case she doesn't pay so SD won't get screwed either way, but dang....I'm happy that he has taken this step.

As far as the job.  Yeah, I started last Wednesday.  It's keeping me very busy.  LOVE IT!  It's crazy and hard and chaotic right now, but I still love it.



Quoting HopesNDreams: Victory!!!! It must feel good! Now that he know he can do it and that she will not dissolve and float away in the breeze, he will be able to do it again. I hope this is the start of good things :) Speaking of....has that new job started???




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