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Would you take a shower with your stepdaughter???

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:10 AM
  • 173 Replies
2 moms liked this
Okay so I've been in my little stepdaughter's life since she was a baby. She is almost 5 now and she calls me her stepmom regularly. She actually prefers me to her dad most of the time lol Like when it comes time for baths and showers she would rather have me help her instead of him (she stays with us two nights a week). The other day the three of us went on a mini vacation where we went to a nice hotel for a night that had a pool. We all went swimming and just to save some time afterwards I suggested that I just get in the shower with her WITH MY SWIMSUIT STILL ON.... But this time my fiance suggested I just take my suit off with her. I refused. SHE even told me it was okay, but I just felt like I would've been stepping over a line with her mom if I'd done that. I don't think I would be very comfortable with my ex's girlfriend stripping down around my 5 year old daughter, so I respect her mom enough not to do something like that. BM and I are actually decent friends. I just wanted to know what any other stepmom would have done in a situation like that and was I being really uptight or just doing the right thing? I know this might seem like a weird post but my fiance and I have gotten into it over stuff like this all the time... I don't let her in the bathroom with me when I'm showering, don't let her see me changing clothes or doing anything personal that would expose myself like that. If I'm in the wrong I just want to hear it (I still wouldn't change but still would be okay hearing other opinions on this topic). It would also be nice to get some backup on this so I can tell my fiance that I'm not crazy for thinking it is disrespectful/inappropriate to undress in front of my stepdaughter!
by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:10 AM
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Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:16 AM
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This is a very touchy topic. When in doubt, just don't do it. I have a STB 5 yo SS. I don't shower with him, but he has seen me undressed before on several occasions. Most of them being that the bathroom door didn't always lock and he would walk in, along with my DS. I actually rarely get through a week without one of the kids seeing me naked. :( I have no privacy, but I don't just strip in front of them because I can. I do try to practice as much modesty as I can. I think you made the right choice.

packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Mar. 6, 2014 at 12:51 AM
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I wouldn't want any female getting in the shower with my daughter no matter what the person was wearing, especially if my daughter is supposed to be nude in order to get clean.

malcorrill
by New Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:00 AM
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Well like I said, BM and I are friends and we talk regularly and when stepdaughter first started asking me to supervise bath time I made sure she was okay with it first. 

jenesis509
by Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:01 AM
No but they wouldn't care I actually have to kick them out to get dressed and I get "we are all girls geeze calm down" they are 13 and 14 and they sometimes shower with their mom to save water? Idk its weird they are weird but I love them lol
cdrainey3
by Cher on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:03 AM
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I think you did the right thing. My husband sometimes takes a bath with our 5 yr old son. But he is his dad. I definitely think that is a fine line that should not be crossed, no matter how long you've known her.
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Mar. 6, 2014 at 1:12 AM


Quoting malcorrill:

Well like I said, BM and I are friends and we talk regularly and when stepdaughter first started asking me to supervise bath time I made sure she was okay with it first. 

Great. I have a friend who I've been friends with since high school. I've been out of high school for nearly 16 years now. I don't want her bathing with my children. 

Friends has nothing to do with it. It's a modesty issue for me. 

So you were right to keep your clothes on, but I'd, not your sks mom, but me, I would request you not shower with my daughter and I'd request that dad take care of bathing our children until they were old enough to do so.

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 7:35 AM

Honestly I've done the same thing (showering after the pool, swimsuit on) it's not a big deal. BM knows-she didn't care.

But if you're uncomfortable in anyway-don't do it.

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 7:40 AM
2 moms liked this


Quoting jenesis509: No but they wouldn't care I actually have to kick them out to get dressed and I get "we are all girls geeze calm down" they are 13 and 14 and they sometimes shower with their mom to save water? Idk its weird they are weird but I love them lol

my dd is 10 and sd is 12-they shower together to save water too and they both say the same thing "we're girls-we got the same body parts" and they just do their thing. THis isn't a daily/weekly thing but maybe once a month or every other month they'll do it.


owl0210
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:00 AM
I've showered with my own son but would never shower with a step-child.
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thecircus8
by Silver Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:08 AM
My teens do it too. Weird but whatever.

If BM has an issue then don't. If she's cool no worries. You did the right thing OP by keeping your suit on..I have done that also and prefer the kids not to see me naked. However.... they have no concept of privacy despite our neverending attempts at teaching it to them.


Quoting Tigress22304:

Quoting jenesis509: No but they wouldn't care I actually have to kick them out to get dressed and I get "we are all girls geeze calm down" they are 13 and 14 and they sometimes shower with their mom to save water? Idk its weird they are weird but I love them lol

my dd is 10 and sd is 12-they shower together to save water too and they both say the same thing "we're girls-we got the same body parts" and they just do their thing. THis isn't a daily/weekly thing but maybe once a month or every other month they'll do it.

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