Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

For those of you who pay your DHs CS...

Posted by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:16 PM
  • 51 Replies

What is the dynamic?  Why do you do it or why do you resent doing it?

How does the money get transferred?  Was the switch hard to make in the beginning?

And anything else that you can think to add to why you chose to take that responsibility on, why you regret it, what circumstances were there?

Thank you!

by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:16 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Rocker.Mom.07
by The Savior on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:35 PM

I don't pay it...but if I worked and he needed help paying it then I would help him. If he depended soley on me paying it...we would have issues.

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:43 PM

I wouldn't pay DH's CS and actually both DH and BM would be offended if I did. Also, in my jurisdiction, a SP paying CS could be used to make them obligated to pay CS even if the marriage ends.

GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 8:59 PM
I only paid CS for DH a few times. He was laid off twice, I kept it paid up enough to keep the state from revoking car tags in his name, his drivers license and professional certifications. He luckily was not laid off long either time. It benefitted me more to help him because if the state took those actions he wouldn't have been able to find work and then I really would have been paying for everything alone.
Seychelles1409
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 9:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I never had to pay DH's CS; I definitely would not marry a man if I had any clue that I would be put in a position where my salary would be needed or expected to be contributed.    DH's children were not my responsibility and I had no say so in their lives so my money was used for my child.

owl0210
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 9:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't pay his child support and couldn't even afford to pay it considering it's $3600 a month for one child lol.
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 9:53 PM
3 moms liked this
If dh needed some money,I go to the bank,withdraw it, take it home and dangle it around while he dances for it.
Yes I'm serious. I make him work hard for my money.
shanlee42
by on Mar. 6, 2014 at 10:48 PM
If J was laid off I would help out and pay it but I would expect to be paid back.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 10:55 PM
4 moms liked this
There is no CS going out of this home but WE pay bills together. We have one big pot and it all goes in and out of that same pot. I helped pay bills when we first moved in together that were nothing to do with me. He paid legal fees that were nothing to do with him. We are paying on a $50k custody battle that had nothing to do with him. WE because it's OURS. Just my perspective.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this

DH had no CS because he's CP, but I completely supported all of us for a while.  Yes, I resented at times, but for the most part I had no problem doing it.  I put him through school.  I still think I'll get my pay back on that investment.

teaching_kids
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2014 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I pay most of our bills because my private practice allows me the freedom and flexibility schedule wise. In other words, I decide my own schedule vs a corporation dictating my hours. Also, BM uses the same bank as we do-so it's just very easy to put cash directly into her account when I'm there anyway....child support and extras are viewed as just our family expenses vs "his"
I don't resent it at all. I love my Sd and love knowing my husband is doing right by her.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN