Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

SO School Grades

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 2:35 PM
  • 16 Replies
My 12 yo ss and his 14 yo sister come to our house every other weekend..sometimes every weekend..Spring Break..2 weeks in summer..While they r here my ss plays video games practically the whole weekend into late hours at night..His dad gave me permission to check his grades (for the past 5 years he has been shut out and I reminded him that he has full rights to access school records, health records, etc.) I checked his grades this morning after their mom asked if she could keep them this weekend to visit their aunt from out of town..He has 4 F's and 1 B...wondering how I should tell his Dad..I feel
That the video game addiction is a direct reflection on his failing in school and he shouldn't be allowed to play them when he is here..BM allows it but his Dad doesn't have to! Any advice? Thank u in advance..
by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 2:35 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 2:43 PM
4 moms liked this
If his dad doesn't care enough to actively view his grades... Why would you care how he's doing in school?
Derdriu
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 2:54 PM

 

Quoting amantonacci: If his dad doesn't care enough to actively view his grades... Why would you care how he's doing in school?

Yep.

I suppose you could print a screen shot of the grades and just give it to him.  But if he doesn't care to be proactive about his son's education, there's nothing you can do about it.

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 2:55 PM

How do you know he's playing video games at BMs?  (if you've covered this in another post, I don't recall it or your situation)

If you have the kids so little time, why do you care what their grades are?  If DH cared, why isn't HE checking? 

I don't get why you're wondering how to tell DH.  Why not just print the page or, better yet, have HIM look at them on his own? 

I've taken my kids to see a relative who's visiting from out of town even when they were struggling with their grades.  The grades were always brought up.  Heck, just recently ODS15 had a D and an F with a few missing assignments.  It took 3 weeks to get that mess straightened up.  Some things were his fault, some were due to student teachers in the classroom (not sure why this is a problem but it apparently is for some teachers as he ended up with full credit for 'missing' assignments, which isn't policy (if he were actually late or missing assignments the best he can get is 50% credit, sometimes 0 credit but no missing).  If BF/SM had seen that, I'm sure they'd have thrown a fit that I was letting ODS go other places that weekend, but, the reality was that things had been made up already and we were simply waiting for the teachers to enter it on line (one teacher took over 2 weeks to enter this). 

But, ultimately you are correct.  Dad can do whatever he'd like as a punishment when his DS is over visiting.  He's free to limit/ban the video games for the visit if he wishes. 

buttercup627
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 2:58 PM
What does it mean that for the past 5 years he's been shut out? Are the bad grades a new development or have they always been bad? Has your dh talked to bm about his child's education at all?
owl0210
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 3:03 PM
You can feel free to voice your opinion but other than that I would leave all of that up to your husband.
oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 3:20 PM
1 mom liked this

There are some issues here.

He needs to be REMINDED he has full rights...uh, no. A dad that gives a damn KNOWS this and fights for them. period.

It seems NEITHER BM or BF care about the kids grades if he's that far gone and a SM is the one checking...

honestly, not your problem, ESPECIALLY if the parents don't give a damn.

It's nice you care, it will NOT change the path this kid is on until the PARENTS give a damn, WITHOUT being pushed by a stepparent.

Honestly, if dad didn't even ask you to check the grades or print them out for him, I wouldn't even tell him...he OBVIOUSLY doesn't care enough to enlighten himself. BM knows he doesn't care and isn't asking or contacting the school himself...so she's not telling him...

I guarantee, if he got the information himself and put pressure on BM and child, and had long established a pattern of that he would be holding them accountable for his schooling as he is the student and she the custodial home...he'd be dealing with different circumstances, but there is a pattern here that he has set up over time of disinterest...and they know it.

And you can't fix it...you have "reminded" him of his rights (which you never should have needed to do) and he still isn't interested enough to get the information on his own, you're doing it.

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 3:55 PM
1 mom liked this
He needed to be reminded he has full rights.... Oh, boy.
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:20 PM

That's what I was thinking too. Why would the dad give his wife permission to check his grades, and not check them himself?

Quoting amantonacci: If his dad doesn't care enough to actively view his grades... Why would you care how he's doing in school?


Rocker.Mom.07
by The Savior on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:26 PM

SD's grades will be my DH's issue...my 2 girl's grades are my issue. But, if he wants something inforced like no TV, or whatever he chooses, til her grades are up, etc...I will follow/enforce that to help him out. He will do that same for me and my girls. I would tell him if I know her grades are falling behind but the rest is up to him. Right now my SD is in kindergarten and she is doing well.

amantonacci
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 4:33 PM

I'm thinking sm made a snide remark when she reminded him he could check the grades

Quoting whatIknownow:

That's what I was thinking too. Why would the dad give his wife permission to check his grades, and not check them himself?

Quoting amantonacci: If his dad doesn't care enough to actively view his grades... Why would you care how he's doing in school?



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN