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It's That Kind of Day.....

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:27 PM
  • 51 Replies

I have days that I just sit and think about SS. I think about BM and where her best interest is. I think of SS happiness and our little talks. I just plan out worry about him when he isn't at our home. I've been around him for ten years which five I was more of a mother figure to him then his own BM. He has told me many times he wants to do week on week off. BM agreed but on her own terms weds-weds. DH wouldn't agree because he thought it would be best to have the same person pick him up all week at school. SS wanted Sun-Sun so that's what DH was trying to make happen. BM disagreed and asked to just keep schedule like it is. Weds-sat each week. Her excuse is it takes time away from her boy friends kids with SS. SS complains about them all the time and they are five and eight years younger then he is. She also stated she wants to make sure nothing gets untold about school events. Hum.... does she not realize I take my time and text her this stuff as soon as I see it. Which most of the time she acts like she could care less. She asked me a question about SS health one day and I told her his last visit was on this date. I was trying to give her the opportunity to schedule appt. Well she told me that was fine and just get him in. BM has not takin him to doctor in eight years. SS has even told me he is afraid to ask BM things. I'm not sure if he is afraid she will say no or if she yells at him. He don't talk much about it. When he wants to do school activities he always comes to me. But of course I ask both BM and DH if it is ok. I just wish I had a better understanding of how he feels about BMs house.

by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 4:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:03 PM

How old is he? 

Mommy2Monkeysx2
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:11 PM

 He is 11

Quoting Boobear110:

How old is he? 

 

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:20 PM

Where's your SS's father?   Why isn't he asking dad to do things and why isn't he emailing/texting BM about important school stuff and ECs?

Mommy2Monkeysx2
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:25 PM

 

DH does text BM. Since I am a SAHM and BM is ok with me giving her the info I send to her so DH don't have too. She stated that was fine. Some things I leave for him to tell her like anything that they have to pay for. If it is his behavior I will text her or she will ask for him to call her so she can talk to him. She also sends stuff to me instead of DH like report cards/progress reports. She will ask me about us going to field trips or getting pictures/yearbooks. I guess it's the kind of relationship we have.

Quoting AmericanDream:

Where's your SS's father?   Why isn't he asking dad to do things and why isn't he emailing/texting BM about important school stuff and ECs?

 

Mommy2Monkeysx2
by Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:27 PM

 He is ok about telling DH things too. But since he sees me more I guess it's that comfort of telling me first. Or he knows it's easy to talk to me. Who knows..... If it is something I think DH should know I will have SS tell him.

Quoting AmericanDream:

Where's your SS's father?   Why isn't he asking dad to do things and why isn't he emailing/texting BM about important school stuff and ECs?

 

Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Let me just say he loves his Mom. Not matter what she does or doesn't do, he loves her. 

If BM is willing to do a Wed - Wed why is your DH making an issue of it? Isn't it easier just to agree the fight over the days that it starts? I'm not sure I understand why it's such a big deal? 

Trust me kids will tell you what they think you want to hear and often it's their perception on something that may not actually be as it is. He may think that the BoyF kids are a pain some of the time and enjoy them some of the time. The age differance can be tough but not insurmountable. 

What is your SS afraid to bring up to BM? That can also be something they precive as " getting in trouble " for. That can mean a million thing to a child. 

BM in my case doesn't do Dr. appointments either? She hasn't in so long the Dr put me on the parent list knowing I'm not a parent. Let that one go. You can't change her or make her involoved in his medical treatment. 

I'm trying to hit all your point but I'm not sure I have. 

Bottomline is just let it all go. Don't worry or contemplate BM or her reflation ship with SS that is gor them to work out. If he wants a shoulder to lean on then be there. 

FreedomTruth
by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:28 PM
2 moms liked this

The fact that you think you have been more of a mother to SS then his BM makes me just stop reading. You may love your SS, and treat him well, in your house, but you are not his mother. Because of that line I could not take the rest seriously. My best friend is not good at getting through the system of doctors for specialists, but her ex is great at it so she lets her ex make those appointments. She knows her strengths and weaknesses and the other parents strengths and weaknesses. Siblings fight whether bio, step, or half. Reality of having siblings. Trust me my son tells me things all the time to make me say yes because he thinks I will have sympathy. I can guarantee he does the same at the other house. Difference is I call him on it. You need to accept the fact that you are not the mom before I can actually take this post seriously.

Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:32 PM

Good lord , what the hell am I on today? Did you see that book I wrote. Do I even make sense at all? 

Quoting AmericanDream:

Where's your SS's father?   Why isn't he asking dad to do things and why isn't he emailing/texting BM about important school stuff and ECs?


AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:36 PM
1 mom liked this

Made sense to me.

You've had a long day!  Take a breath.  Maybe put your feet up and sip on some good wine. :)

Quoting Boobear110:

Good lord , what the hell am I on today? Did you see that book I wrote. Do I even make sense at all? 

Quoting AmericanDream:

Where's your SS's father?   Why isn't he asking dad to do things and why isn't he emailing/texting BM about important school stuff and ECs?


Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 12, 2014 at 7:39 PM

Wtf just happened to the post about the "soul mate" with the 6yo, 1yo, and the knocked up BM. I was reading and poof. Loved Momof reply! 

Im sitting with my puppy ,thinking about getting that wine. 

Quoting AmericanDream:

Made sense to me.

You've had a long day!  Take a breath.  Maybe put your feet up and sip on some good wine. :)

Quoting Boobear110:

Good lord , what the hell am I on today? Did you see that book I wrote. Do I even make sense at all? 

Quoting AmericanDream:

Where's your SS's father?   Why isn't he asking dad to do things and why isn't he emailing/texting BM about important school stuff and ECs?


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