Hi Everyone, I am new to this site, but I am excited to be able to get some advice and perspectives on a couple of topics. My fiance and I are expecting our first child together in August, which is very exciting, however, he also has an additional 7 year old girl who lives with her mother in Texas, we are currently in Utah.
He, sadly, usually only sees her 2-3 times a year due to the nature of his job, and this year he is wanting to do some pretty extravagant trip with her that will most likely cost us in the thousands of dollars to execute. I am sure this is a desire of his because with the new baby coming there is going to be a lack of money resources to do this kind of trip. We live on his salary alone, which still leaves us very comfortable money wise, but i just don't think that the timing is right, money wise, to take a trip of this costly magnitude.
I have offered suggestions for different ideas that would still give him time with her before the baby and save a little dough, but he seems to think that since he made a promise to her a year ago to take her to a certain entertainment spot that NOW is the time to follow through.
I guess, bottom line, the reason this whole thing bothers me is because, one he doesn't really seem to put any thought into how much the trip is going to cost and doesn't really want to find out before executing it, and, two, because he only sees her 2-3 times a year he tends to make their visits a BIG deal with lots of gifts and extravagant activities. That, on top of her upbringing with her mother, is turning her from the sweet little girl I once knew into a spoiled little brat that is becoming more and more difficult for me to be around.
He also has the idea that at Christmas we are going to turn around and spend the money to fly her to us to be able to spend time with my family and the new baby. She has never flown before so he is most likely going to want to be with her on the flights for the first time. Now costing double in travel fairs...another grand or more gone.
Whenever this conversation gets brought up it just turns into an argument and I am sick of fighting about it. Finally I just told him to do what ever he feels is right and that I am sure he will work it out, but I find myself still annoyed and perturbed. Has anyone else experienced something like this, and what did you do? Thanks for reading I look forward to the answers.