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What if we cannot afford to pay for SS's flight?

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DH has primary custody and visits BM three times a year for a few weeks at a time. BM still ows us money for 2 flights as well as CS (she has never paid anything).

I was wondering what would happen if we will not be able to pay for SS's flight. DH is supposed to book the flight and BM has to pay 50%, but most of the time she doesn't. Can DH tell BM to book the next flight since she ows him money for 2 flights already. BM always comes up with excuses why she cannot pay. Or she says she'll send x amount, but the check never comes.

by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 1:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:11 PM
2 moms liked this

Ever heard the saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right"?

Regardless of what BM is or isn't doing, BD is still responsible for following the CO. If BM isn't following the CO then BD does have the ability to file contempt of court and change the CO. 

Quoting Sept-babies2: Wouldn't that mean she isn't following the court order and possibly be in trouble for that? If she isn't following it and he ends up not following the court order why would he be in trouble and not her? I guess I don't really know how it works because I don't have any court orders and neither does dh.
Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.


momrocks2000
by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:12 PM

DH needs to consult with his legal counsel.

Sept-babies2
by Ashley on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:22 PM
I didn't mean that he shouldn't get in trouble I meant that if he would get in trouble for it so should bm.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Ever heard the saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right"?Regardless of what BM is or isn't doing, BD is still responsible for following the CO. If BM isn't following the CO then BD does have the ability to file contempt of court and change the CO. 

Quoting Sept-babies2: Wouldn't that mean she isn't following the court order and possibly be in trouble for that? If she isn't following it and he ends up not following the court order why would he be in trouble and not her? I guess I don't really know how it works because I don't have any court orders and neither does dh.

Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.

DDDaysh
by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:30 PM
You have asked this before. The answer is still the same. Your DH can file contempt against BM for not reimbursing the flights, but he cannot simply refuse to purchase these tickets because then he will be in contempt and BM could file against him.

In my experience courts look more unfavorably on denying visitation (especially when she gets so little of it) than on financial matters.

In your case, who moved? How did your DH end up paying for the flights? The more normal arrangement is for each parent to pay for the flight bringing the child their direction.


Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.

DDDaysh
by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:33 PM
BM could be in trouble but they would need to file contempt against her first. Failing to get the child to BM for visitation because of a financial issue they had not even asked the court to resolve could land them in very hot water because that is denying access to the child.

Quoting Sept-babies2: I didn't mean that he shouldn't get in trouble I meant that if he would get in trouble for it so should bm.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Ever heard the saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right"?Regardless of what BM is or isn't doing, BD is still responsible for following the CO. If BM isn't following the CO then BD does have the ability to file contempt of court and change the CO. 

Quoting Sept-babies2: Wouldn't that mean she isn't following the court order and possibly be in trouble for that? If she isn't following it and he ends up not following the court order why would he be in trouble and not her? I guess I don't really know how it works because I don't have any court orders and neither does dh.

Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:33 PM
1 mom liked this

The problem is, when the CP messes up, they risk potentially losing custody.

Is being right worth that risk? Especially when it's about $50 in most areas to file contempt of court and get it all straightened out?

Quoting Sept-babies2: I didn't mean that he shouldn't get in trouble I meant that if he would get in trouble for it so should bm.
Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Ever heard the saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right"?Regardless of what BM is or isn't doing, BD is still responsible for following the CO. If BM isn't following the CO then BD does have the ability to file contempt of court and change the CO. 

Quoting Sept-babies2: Wouldn't that mean she isn't following the court order and possibly be in trouble for that? If she isn't following it and he ends up not following the court order why would he be in trouble and not her? I guess I don't really know how it works because I don't have any court orders and neither does dh.
Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.



Sept-babies2
by Ashley on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:38 PM
Lol I get it. I'm not saying that he should just not follow the court order..I think he should but i was thinking if he just didn't what would happen. Anyways isn't it usually the ncp who is suppose to pay for transportation to see their child? Or the parent who moved away?

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

The problem is, when the CP messes up, they risk potentially losing custody.

Is being right worth that risk? Especially when it's about $50 in most areas to file contempt of court and get it all straightened out?

Quoting Sept-babies2: I didn't mean that he shouldn't get in trouble I meant that if he would get in trouble for it so should bm.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

Ever heard the saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right"?Regardless of what BM is or isn't doing, BD is still responsible for following the CO. If BM isn't following the CO then BD does have the ability to file contempt of court and change the CO. 

Quoting Sept-babies2: Wouldn't that mean she isn't following the court order and possibly be in trouble for that? If she isn't following it and he ends up not following the court order why would he be in trouble and not her? I guess I don't really know how it works because I don't have any court orders and neither does dh.

Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.

Dulcemama5
by Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:40 PM
This

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

He should file in court for BM to reimburse him for the past costs of the flights. Then he should request that BM be the one to purchase the tickets and DH reimburse her for his 50%.

soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:47 PM

The OP's DH took a job out of state like a year ago they moved away.

Quoting DDDaysh: You have asked this before. The answer is still the same. Your DH can file contempt against BM for not reimbursing the flights, but he cannot simply refuse to purchase these tickets because then he will be in contempt and BM could file against him. In my experience courts look more unfavorably on denying visitation (especially when she gets so little of it) than on financial matters. In your case, who moved? How did your DH end up paying for the flights? The more normal arrangement is for each parent to pay for the flight bringing the child their direction.
Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.


***Briterican***


DDDaysh
by on Mar. 15, 2014 at 2:53 PM
In that case it will look even worse if they don't continue to facilitate visitation and could lead to custody reversal. They need to file contempt if BM continues to refuse to pay, but it's not a situation to mess with not sending the kid for visitation.

Quoting soonergirl980:

The OP's DH took a job out of state like a year ago they moved away.

Quoting DDDaysh: You have asked this before. The answer is still the same. Your DH can file contempt against BM for not reimbursing the flights, but he cannot simply refuse to purchase these tickets because then he will be in contempt and BM could file against him.

In my experience courts look more unfavorably on denying visitation (especially when she gets so little of it) than on financial matters.

In your case, who moved? How did your DH end up paying for the flights? The more normal arrangement is for each parent to pay for the flight bringing the child their direction.


Quoting CSM07:

The CO says that dad books the flight and BM has to reemburse him 50% of the cost. It does not say anything about what should be done if BM does not do her part.

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