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PFOG- sd snoops through sm phone.. thoughts

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:19 PM
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http://www.cafemom.com/group/115189/forums/read/19742904/My_dd_snooped_through_her_sms_phone?ct=acm_todays_featured_posts


this post is about a 13 yr old snooping through her step moms phone. she found texts that sounded like sm didn't want sd around for summer vacation.
what are your thoughts on this situation?


I know I have texted my mom or sisters about frustrations I have had with my sss before. I have sought advice or just vented about things I wouldn't to dh because he can be rather defensive, or they were just to petty to bring up but wanted off my cheast..... being honest.. who hasent?



pic of post on pg 2
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:20 PM
some one make clickly pleeease :-)
howkhuntastic
by Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:35 PM
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The whole situation is a mess. I've totally vented inappropriately to my mom or a friend and know they would have been hurt. But i truly feel there is more to the story than the mom is telling. If her daughter has no issue snooping what else does she do. I think the mom needs to talk to dad and step mom.
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:35 PM
And this is why the delete button exists on phones! Everyone needs to vent now and again, but for heavens sake, don't leave it where children can find it!
howkhuntastic
by Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:37 PM
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Plus i have the feeling if stepmom knew what she say she would be horrified and probably make amends. Major life lesson learned though, if you look to find dirt you will end up hurt.
howkhuntastic
by Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:39 PM
Lol i agree with this. I kind of wonder if the sm did it on purpose since allegedly she lets her sd use her phone often.

Quoting HopesNDreams: And this is why the delete button exists on phones! Everyone needs to vent now and again, but for heavens sake, don't leave it where children can find it!
Silent_Sea
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:42 PM
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Wow! Have to say I felt some of her post was embellished as I can't see a person saying they have nearly convinced their husband to reduce visitation so they can be a real family.

It seems to be a very unusual thing to outright say to someone. Venting about behavior, yes. Frustrated with dynamics, yes. Not sure about wanting to take visitation if the BF isn't going to be there much, yes.

At the same time, the 13 year old snooping through stepmoms phone indicates a behavior issue and lack of respect of the child .... so I am thinking mom might want to ask her Ex how the child is behaving at their home. That is a red flag to me that maybe the 13 year old is causing issues.

Also, no mention in the original post of step mom mistreatment or issues of the child. That is important when you mention being concern of mistreatment.
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:45 PM
Letting someone use your phone to make calls or use an app does not mean you've given them permission to go through everything. Plus, if you are going to let your SD 'accidentally' see something, would it be something that makes you look so horrible? Give her credit to stage something a bit less wicked stepmother.

Quoting howkhuntastic: Lol i agree with this. I kind of wonder if the sm did it on purpose since allegedly she lets her sd use her phone often.

Quoting HopesNDreams: And this is why the delete button exists on phones! Everyone needs to vent now and again, but for heavens sake, don't leave it where children can find it!
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 7:57 PM

I didn't read the other post.

But I'll tell you this...

1) I don't let people use my computer or my phone unless A) they're on a guest account or B) I'm dialing a number for them.  I don't share an email with DH, I don't ask to have access to his (although he's fine with that--and I still think it's weird.)

2) My husband however has historically let his kids play with his phone.  It is human nature to be inquisitive.  People snoop.  That is one reason why I've always been very careful NOT to send anything risque, questionable or otherwise not for public viewing via text to his phone.  Now that the kids have their own smart phones, I doubt it will ever be an issue again.  But I think that if you offer a device like that to someone, you have to assume that anything on it is fair game. 

It's not RIGHT to snoop but it's human nature. 

DDDaysh
by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 8:00 PM
2 moms liked this

Time to get a code on that phone! 

If it was my daughter, I would explain to her that what you find when snooping isn't always what you think it is, and that's why it's best to leave others private stuff private. 

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