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Have you had this problem?

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:59 PM
  • 38 Replies

My SS is now 10. His father and I got together when he was 6. His mom and dad haven't been together since he was 2. These past few months we've been struggling with the situation where he keeps saying he doesn't want to come to our house on his dad's weekend. Has anyone else dealt with this? Is it an age thing? Dad spends a lot of one on one time with him playing video games and playing outside. I don't know what more it could be....this sucks and hurts :(

by on Mar. 16, 2014 at 10:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FreedomTruth
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:26 PM
My son has trouble for two reasons. He is no where near his friends and hsi little brother. Why not see if your ss could invite a friend for one of the days. See if that is what is going on.
shanlee42
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:29 PM
Has dad asked him why?
mommymix0820
by Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:49 PM

his step-brother, sister and little brother are here also. we only get him evow and it seems if a friend of his came with him it would take away time from him and his dad

Quoting FreedomTruth: My son has trouble for two reasons. He is no where near his friends and hsi little brother. Why not see if your ss could invite a friend for one of the days. See if that is what is going on.


mommymix0820
by Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 11:51 PM

of course he has and he won't talk about it...or anything for that matter. when dh asks him about school or friends ALL he will say is it's okay. last weekend he was here dh tried for an hour to make conversation with ss and he basically said yes and no and that's about it

Quoting shanlee42: Has dad asked him why?


FreedomTruth
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:21 AM
That is what my sons dad says as well but friends are important to my son and he likes it when I am involved with his friends and him and he wishes his dad would be as well. My son loves his half brother but he drives him crazy as well.

Quoting mommymix0820:

his step-brother, sister and little brother are here also. we only get him evow and it seems if a friend of his came with him it would take away time from him and his dad

Quoting FreedomTruth: My son has trouble for two reasons. He is no where near his friends and hsi little brother. Why not see if your ss could invite a friend for one of the days. See if that is what is going on.

FreedomTruth
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this
It sounds like your dh expects son to give up sons life and meld with dhs life, but my best suggestion would be to get dh to meld with ss life. Playing video games is not enough to build a relationship. He won't talk to him so have dh try to get involved with his life.

Quoting FreedomTruth: That is what my sons dad says as well but friends are important to my son and he likes it when I am involved with his friends and him and he wishes his dad would be as well. My son loves his half brother but he drives him crazy as well.

Quoting mommymix0820:

his step-brother, sister and little brother are here also. we only get him evow and it seems if a friend of his came with him it would take away time from him and his dad

Quoting FreedomTruth: My son has trouble for two reasons. He is no where near his friends and hsi little brother. Why not see if your ss could invite a friend for one of the days. See if that is what is going on.

DDDaysh
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:37 AM
1 mom liked this
But the truth is BM only gets EOWE for free time with him n as well. If she followed this same philosophy, the kid would never get to spend time on the weekends with his friends.

The truth is, as children age, their friends become much more important to them than their parents. If your husband doesn't start supporting those relationships, he's going to lose out on a huge portion of his sons life.

Maybe it's not a friend thing, but if you offered to let him being a couple of friends and it helps, then you'll know.


Quoting mommymix0820:

his step-brother, sister and little brother are here also. we only get him evow and it seems if a friend of his came with him it would take away time from him and his dad

Quoting FreedomTruth: My son has trouble for two reasons. He is no where near his friends and hsi little brother. Why not see if your ss could invite a friend for one of the days. See if that is what is going on.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:41 AM
Has he said why he doesn't want to come? Does he feel that he's missing out on other things by having to leave his moms to go to dads?

Yes my dd started this when she was 11 but it's a social thing. She doesn't want to go to dads because she feels cut off from her friends and 'her world'. It's mostly an age thing but also could be alleviated if you know the why to his request.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 12:42 AM
Well then that is probably the answer. He feels like a visitor instead of family. He should be able to bring his world in to your home. That would make him feel at home.

Quoting mommymix0820:

his step-brother, sister and little brother are here also. we only get him evow and it seems if a friend of his came with him it would take away time from him and his dad

Quoting FreedomTruth: My son has trouble for two reasons. He is no where near his friends and hsi little brother. Why not see if your ss could invite a friend for one of the days. See if that is what is going on.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
shanlee42
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 10:35 AM
I got nothing then. Maybe it is just the age and his school friends are at moms.

Quoting mommymix0820:

of course he has and he won't talk about it...or anything for that matter. when dh asks him about school or friends ALL he will say is it's okay. last weekend he was here dh tried for an hour to make conversation with ss and he basically said yes and no and that's about it

Quoting shanlee42: Has dad asked him why?

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