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Can't connect!!

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:23 AM
  • 23 Replies

 

Has anyone given up on trying to have a relationship with their stepchildren?  We just don't connect and I am at the point where we just tolerate each other.  Advice please?? My ex and I are trying to reconcile and one issue is his daughter.  At this point I have the attitude well she won't live home forever, help??

by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:37 AM
2 moms liked this

all you really have to do is be nice to her and don't interfer with her relationship with her father. That's it! If you can't be nice, be scarce.

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:38 AM
My only advice is...time. building a relationship takes time and your op doesn't state how long you've been in your step kids life. While she won't live at home forever she will be dads daughter...forever.
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:39 AM
How were things before he was your ex?
help1027
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:54 AM

 

Quoting malinda74: My only advice is...time. building a relationship takes time and your op doesn't state how long you've been in your step kids life. While she won't live at home forever she will be dads daughter...forever.

 I have known the family forever, was actually at her parents wedding.  Ex and I were together for 4+ years proir to break up last summer.  When we were together I did everything I could think of to have a relatioship with his daughter.  I was good if she needed something, if not I didn't exist.

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 7:58 AM
How old is your step daughter?

Quoting help1027:

 


Quoting malinda74: My only advice is...time. building a relationship takes time and your op doesn't state how long you've been in your step kids life. While she won't live at home forever she will be dads daughter...forever.

 I have known the family forever, was actually at her parents wedding.  Ex and I were together for 4+ years proir to break up last summer.  When we were together I did everything I could think of to have a relatioship with his daughter.  I was good if she needed something, if not I didn't exist.

help1027
by on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:03 AM

 16 in July

Quoting malinda74: How old is your step daughter?
Quoting help1027:

 

Quoting malinda74: My only advice is...time. building a relationship takes time and your op doesn't state how long you've been in your step kids life. While she won't live at home forever she will be dads daughter...forever.

 I have known the family forever, was actually at her parents wedding.  Ex and I were together for 4+ years proir to break up last summer.  When we were together I did everything I could think of to have a relatioship with his daughter.  I was good if she needed something, if not I didn't exist.

 

tiafez
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:10 AM

you may be trying too hard, step back a little. Be nice, be polite but don't try so hard. 

malinda74
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:32 AM
Teen years can be hard, even when you are the parent. I would just be nice to her. And please let her have a relationship with her dad. A relationship without interference.

Quoting help1027:

 16 in July


Quoting malinda74: How old is your step daughter?
Quoting help1027:

 


Quoting malinda74: My only advice is...time. building a relationship takes time and your op doesn't state how long you've been in your step kids life. While she won't live at home forever she will be dads daughter...forever.

 I have known the family forever, was actually at her parents wedding.  Ex and I were together for 4+ years proir to break up last summer.  When we were together I did everything I could think of to have a relatioship with his daughter.  I was good if she needed something, if not I didn't exist.


 

tiafez
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:36 AM
2 moms liked this

I want to add that you have to remember that you were in her life then out of it once already. She may not warm up to you because of that. When you split she may have been upset if her father was hurting and doesn't want him to be hurting again. 

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Mar. 17, 2014 at 8:57 AM
This. Go in with expectations of the dad's wife level of interaction. Just coexist. Is it the end of world if you don't exist to her.

Quoting tiafez:

you may be trying too hard, step back a little. Be nice, be polite but don't try so hard. 

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