Do you immediately think BM is a bad parent/person is she doesn't have custody of her children?
BM in my situation wasn't custodial--she lost custody when her daughter was two.
That statement alone would lead one to believe she must have been into drugs or abusive or mentally impaired or something, no?
How about this? BM in my situation was the sole provider of her daughter for the first 15 months of her life due to her husband being away at war...but lost custody of her daughter shortly after her second birthday.
Now BM MUST be a monster, right?!? What mom would lose her kid to dad under those circumstances??
Truth is, BM is neither a monster nor a drug addict nor a mentally impaired psycho (not a diagnosed psycho anyway, lol). At the time of her husband's homecoming, she was a young adult who was overwhelmed with everything and took his return as a free pass to party. "Partying" meant staying out all night, being too hung over to care for her baby and basically turning over all parenting responsibilities to her husband and her in-laws. She spent months with little to no interaction with her daughter. These behaviors did not go over well with the judge and sole custody was granted to her ex.
BM hated being a NCP. HATED it and never truly accepted her role as one. For years, she made life miserable for everyone, including her child. She tried repeatedly to reverse custody and was always unsuccessful. In one of the last attempts, a GAL was brought in and during his interview with BM he asked the question, "Why do you think you should have custody?"
Her response? "Because society hates non-custodial moms."
She also went on to include such gems as, "All my single friends receive CS and I don't" and "It's embarrassing to have to pay CS" and "Only men should have to pay CS" (think she was a little hung up on the CS aspect?) but the one that always stood out to me was "Because society hates non-custodial moms".
Does society hate non-custodial moms? Do you? What is your immediate reaction upon hearing a mother is non-custodial?