Thank you to those that responded, I really appreciate the understanding and the suggestions. I talked to my husband, I suggested the idea of BM getting them from school and while he had the concern I thought he would, he's trying it out tomorrow, so hopefully that'll go good. I also told him that while I didn't appreciate BM wanting me to be asked even though she knew better, that's to be expected from her, she doesn't care about me, but he does, and I wish he had stepped up and told BM "No" to asking me and kept the situation between them. He said that from now on, he won't be asking to be involved PickUps.
I know this might seeme silly that I won't be involved, but when you're treated like crap for years there's only so much 1 person can take. Besides, I wasn't there when the original shedule was created, they had to rely on each other for their visitiation, so why can't it still be that way, right? :-)
My husband texted me asking if I would be okay with sending the boys out to their mom early on Friday because the kids get off school early.
The boundary has been set, by me, due to past really screwed up circumstances, that I will not facilitate the PickUp or DropOff.
He told me that the boys asked him, while on the phone with their mother, so he was caught off guard, because neither parent knew that there was early relase on Friday. When he talked to BM after the conversation with the kids was done, she I guess did say that she knows that I "might" not be okay with it, but would DH mind asking anyway. So he did.
My issue is, I really don't want to be a "bad guy" but , my boundaries were made and accepted, for the most part. It seems like I'm put in situation where there needs to be an exception. I have sent the kids out when DH couldn't make it home in time so that the pick up time wasn't delayed, but I expressed how I wasn't comfortable with that and I would appreciate if it was avoided in the future, DH said that was fine and there hasn't been an issue since. This situation is one that I'm given a choice, but I feel like it's not okay of BM to push at the boundary. It feels like she is going along with a situation because the boys made the request, she's not stepping up to say something along the lines of "Unless your dad can be home early, I don't think it'll work out" My DH did tell the boys that I'm not the person that deals with this stuff, but he'll still check with me, so that's a good thing. I just don't like being in this position, I created the boundary to avoid this, to put this kind of thing completely in THEIR court.
I'm just wondering what others might do. Would you still make the situation happen if you were me, or would you stick to the plan that's been laid out?