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WWYD: Appt with Lawyer

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:40 AM
  • 41 Replies

So, tomorrow my husband and his ex-wife have an appointment with their daughter's Guardian ad litem (sp?).  I wasn't planning on going because the custody battle is between them.  My husband is insistant that I go.  I have been to every court hearing so far - going on a year and a half now, but I think this appointment should be just the 2 of them with the GAL.  He keeps saying that I may think of things he won't think of.  That is probably true, but I don't feel it's my place.  Do you think I'm right to stay away?

Add: it's a meeting in the GAL's office, not a court hearing.

by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:40 AM
2 moms liked this

You probably won't be allowed in the room so there is no point in you going.

Have him write a list of things he needs addressed to take with him so he does't forget anything.

BrownEyedGirl86
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:42 AM

if my husband asked me to go, i would go

pepper504
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:46 AM


Quoting WifeyC:

You probably won't be allowed in the room so there is no point in you going.

Have him write a list of things he needs addressed to take with him so he does't forget anything.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Rocker.Mom.07
by The Savior on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:47 AM

Maybe for support I would go. But DH didn't have me go with to any of his meetings with his lawyer or tag along when he went for mediation (which I know I wouldn't have been allowed to be in there and I avoid any sightings of BM anyway). I wanted to go for one meeting with the lawyer just to know what might be asked while I was on the stand as a witness for him... but I ended up not going.
Giving him a list is a good idea.

progressandjoy
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:48 AM
Tell him to write himself a list covering everything he wants to talk about. DH always wanted to discuss with me, because I always caught stuff. But, I didn't want to put myself in the middle.

Now - I'll 'go over' it once (at home prior to his discussion with BM). I'll give DH my thoughts and opinions, but then it's up to him. He has to make his own choices. He needs to be able to catch mistakes or contradictions on his own.

It's nice to see him take responsibility. He's screwed his time up a few times, but it just makes him pay more attention next time.
tiafez
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:49 AM

help him drawup a list of things to remember but I wouldn't go. This is between them, you are not really a part of it and you being there may distract from the real purpose.

wise.toes
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:57 AM

i've never known a partner to be allowed in a courtroom so i wouldn't bother with going.

cdrainey3
by Cher on Mar. 26, 2014 at 11:57 AM
Maybe sit down before you go and write what needs to be said on a piece of paper so that he doesn't forget anything. If my husband asked me to go I probably would too. Even if I just sat in the waiting room. You're right though, it's not your place and if you don't feel comfortable than your husband should be a big boy and go on his own.
terpmama
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Sounds like he wants support... I agree help him make a list then I'd go but hang out in the cafe or something with a book. He may also want to present a two against one front for the mediator/judge to try and show that he is more stable?
tbanana
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:10 PM

 Yes, I've been to every court hearing - 6 now.  NJ is a weird state...you sit in the courtroom and hear ALL of the cases presented to the judge that day, whether you are involved or not.  I've heard some very interesting things!

Quoting wise.toes:

i've never known a partner to be allowed in a courtroom so i wouldn't bother with going.

 

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