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When husband is working and I go pick up the kids...

Posted by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:38 AM
  • 48 Replies

I dread it. She doesn't want me on her property. She doesn't even like me being in the car on the street when I go with him! Judge just signed temporary order and husband is to go to their schools to pick up and drop off ( I drop off because he's at work Monday morning and I have to go to their bus stop to pick them up when he's at work.This works out great and solves alot of conflict we have dealt with before the judge ordered it this way. but what about summer break/school holidays? I will be the one picking them up then because he doesn't get off work by 6pm. Any suggestions until we go back to court in 4-6 months? 

by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 2:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:13 AM
5 moms liked this

If your husband and you have made this arrangement for you to do some of the pick ups/drop offs she simply needs to suck it up. Have your DH arrange the pick up for summer breaks and school holidays to take place at a different location. If BM isn't okay with that, well, those two need to figure out something else. I find it ridiculous when a parent tries to make everything so difficult.

buffalobisons
by Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 3:51 AM

She simply won't comply. She's made it clear she will start trouble. His attorney did ask her attorney if they could arrange to meet somewhere in public for the exchange and she refused. We are dealing with a woman that accually requested through a motion she filed (before she hired and attorney) for supervised visitation in her own living room!!! Of coarse the judge didn't honor this but my point being "control" she NEEDS to control even if it's unrealistic to others and if it's not that way she'll try anyway. Oh lord, this is so difficult. Once my husband goes back to court, he and his attorney have already talked about requesting a neutral meeting place for drop off/pick up and I'm sure the judge will agree being the history of so much conflict. Until then this is our only option. My husband should have his visitation however I don't want this women to get physical like she has with others. I guess we are screwed til court again... wish she were like my other step daughters mom's. This sort of thing NEVER happend! but then again, they put their kids first and so did we. I also never over step my boundrys. I don't know how to deal with this one. I stay out of the way but sometimes you have to be the one to do things like pick up/drop off kiddo's when hubby can't.... 

Pero3
by on Mar. 27, 2014 at 6:42 AM
2 moms liked this

I, for one, would not hand DD over to SM for a variety of reasons, and BF is fully aware of this. I would also not drive to any other "neutral" handover point bar DD's school (BF moved to make matters more convenient for his new family, so why should I facilitate this?).

However, I am 100% flexible as to the time of the pick-up. So for example, if BF was unable to collect her lets say on Friday night, I'd hand her over Saturday morning and then add the night he missed at the end or another time.

So if I was your DH, I'd negotiate a time-flexible arrangement.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 7:06 AM

Just have him go when he gets off work. What time does he get off work?

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 7:13 AM
I have done maybe one pick up from bms house in the past 3 yrs. bm would take it upon herself to scream and yell at me whenever I did, so I simply told dh I won't be doing it anymore unless absolutely necessary. He has managed to either negotiate a new time, a pick up from school, or to have a close friend known to both parties do it. It had become a source of anxiety for me and so my dh and I figured it out. He is able to work out his own schedule most of the time to go and pick up dss.
Leigh84
by Gold Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 7:54 AM
What time does your husband get off work? In the summer is it possible for him to p/up the kids a little later. It would be nice if she could act like an adult but you said she said herself she will cause problems. It doesn't sound like you feel comfortable doing it either.

Quoting buffalobisons:

She simply won't comply. She's made it clear she will start trouble. His attorney did ask her attorney if they could arrange to meet somewhere in public for the exchange and she refused. We are dealing with a woman that accually requested through a motion she filed (before she hired and attorney) for supervised visitation in her own living room!!! Of coarse the judge didn't honor this but my point being "control" she NEEDS to control even if it's unrealistic to others and if it's not that way she'll try anyway. Oh lord, this is so difficult. Once my husband goes back to court, he and his attorney have already talked about requesting a neutral meeting place for drop off/pick up and I'm sure the judge will agree being the history of so much conflict. Until then this is our only option. My husband should have his visitation however I don't want this women to get physical like she has with others. I guess we are screwed til court again... wish she were like my other step daughters mom's. This sort of thing NEVER happend! but then again, they put their kids first and so did we. I also never over step my boundrys. I don't know how to deal with this one. I stay out of the way but sometimes you have to be the one to do things like pick up/drop off kiddo's when hubby can't.... 

WickedPissah
by Cup Cakes on Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:22 AM
You could always choose to take yourself out of the equation.
Panda113
by Bronze Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:25 AM
Let him pick them up at 6pm. No use them being with you if dad isn't around.
tiafez
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this

if the judge says thefather does pick up, drop offs then the father is who should be doing them. 


(Buffalo Bisons fan? I'm a Rochester Red Wings fan )

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 27, 2014 at 10:35 AM
I wouldn't pick up under those circumstances. Your DH has to figure out an alternative, not you, when he is unable to leave work at a reasonable hour.
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