My 12 year old step-son is currently facing charges for sexual assault. He molested my 4 year old niece in December. My family won't have anything to do with me. They especially want nothing to do with my step-son and have made it clear that he will never be considered family. I can barely stand to be in the house with my step-son.
As soon as I knew about my step-son molesting my niece, my husband and I took step-son to a psychiatric in-patient treatment center. They refused to admit him, even for just a 48 hour hold for us to get ourselves together and make a plan. They told us that we were over reacting, and that I should just tell mt brother that he was also over reacting.
After calling several residential treatment centers around the country I was finally referred back to expert in juvenile sexual deviance in our area. I requested an appointment, but was told that my step-son could not be seen because this is a mandatory reporting issue. So I called our local sheriff's office and filed a report, then called the expert again to schedule an appointment. This time I was told that my step-son couldn't been seen during an open investigation and that I would have to wait until therapy is court ordered.
After a month the local sheriff's office finally contacted me to interview my step-son. He admitted everything and signed a confession. The detective told him how brave and well-behaved he was, and he left the interview just beaming. I was sick and totally destroyed. I asked that I not be in the room during the interview, but they had me stay and listen to the details of everything that was done to my niece. Now I shudder every time my step-son's hand brushes mine. I can't even imagine ever being able to hug him again. He disgusts me.
It's been months now, and no one has contacted me to tell me what is going on. Every time I try to call someone to find out what is going on, the case is in a different office, or the person I need to speak to isn't available. Someone always take a message to call me, but no one ever does call me. As far as I know at this point the case is with the local district attorney's office.
I'm so frustrated. When children have to wait this long to face consequences for their actions, they can barely even connect the consequences to the action! And my step-son acts as if nothing is wrong, as if he just got away with it. He's still lying every day, skipping school work, skipping chores, being disrespectful, and looking up porn every chance he gets. He hasn't been allowed outside or around other children since December. Once I let my guard down and let him ride his scooter around the block. I went outside to find him down the block talking to an adult he didn't know, a man who had two very young girls with him, one who looked so much like my niece. I lost my mind. I've spanked, yelled, begged, taken toys and electronics. Nothing will get through to him. I feel like I have no idea how to parent a child molester with out of control behavior, and I have no where to turn for help.
Before this, my step-son attempted to molest my kid sister when she was 6 years old and my step-son was only 8 years old. My step-son shop lifted from a department store when he was 9. By the time he was 10 he was caught flagging down cars on his way to school to ask for money. He has no remorse for anything. He will lie even when faced with irrefutable evidence. He makes his eyes so wide, bates his eye lashes, and acts like he has no idea why anyone is upset with him. It makes me want to pop his head right off of his neck.
I've been in therapy since the incident in December. I've told my therapist that I can't handle how constantly angry I am at my step-son. I've even said that I do genuinely wish him harm. I've fantasied about hurting him. I am just so desperate to get him to stop acting like this. I don't feel like I was taken seriously. Now I just don't even know what to do.