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Smoking around the kids

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:39 PM
  • 66 Replies
I have seen many posts on this subject. My ex smokes and so does SM. Ex's whole family smokes and so do his friends. I'm a non-smoker and despise cigarettes. My mom was a chain smoker and I grew up hating it. The day my little friend in 3rd grade told me the reason she was not allowed to spend the night with me because my mother smoked (inside no less)...I became embarrassed by it.

Ex was "quitting" when I met him. Lol he is still a heavy smoker to this day. I made him smoke outside when we were married. I assumed he smoked outside after we were divorced. Our kids started complaining of the smoking over a year ago...especially my dd9. I addressed it in court along with several other things. The judge HIGHLY agreed to NO SMOKING in the house, vehicle, or confined spaces with our kids. Ex got on the stand and literally lied through his teeth by saying he smoked INSIDE the whole time we were married. He and his wife testified that places my kids go would be "limited" if a smoking restriction was put in place. I couldn't believe how hard they fought to smoke INSIDE with the kids. The judge was just shaking his head.

I thought smoking inside with kids was common sense. Obviously not in my case and many others I have read about on here.

Do you agree that this restriction should be imposed on parents whom insist "their house, their life" to protect the kids or is this none of the other parent's business? Does your CO address smoking?

Btw, SM works at a hospital. I REALLY thought she had more common sense than this.
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FreedomTruth
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:44 PM

I smoke a pack a day. I however do not smoke in my house or car. I did prior to having my son, but since having him I do not. I doubt I will ever quit smoking, but I do not want to chance any risks by smoking around him. It is not in my court order. Son's dad does smoke in car around kid, but usually my son complains so he puts it out. He does not smoke cigarettes in the house.

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:45 PM
Uh... Gross. Smoking around kids irritates me, too. I always find it sad when kids at the school I work at REEK of smoke.

My CO doesn't have anything about smoking, but maybe it should since Ex's mom smokes around DD.
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:46 PM

Yes.

Our CO (mine and Ex's) did not address this because we are not smokers, and neither one of us even thought about it.

My DH's ex is a smoker, and she smokes around the kids, but their CO doesn't reflect this. Generally she tries not to smoke around the kids. Once when SD was about 5, I poked my head inside her car (with her permission) to try a pair of shoes on SD. I almost died -- the air in that car was not breathable. But... she has minimal parenting time so we didn't pursue it. However in general, I think it's a good idea to add it to the CO.

Quoting chasinrainbows: Do you agree that this restriction should be imposed on parents whom insist "their house, their life" to protect the kids


Silent_Sea
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:52 PM
I think unless it was agreed to it will be hard to restrict, unless you can prove it medically necessary. The reason is you were aware and had a child with them when you knew they smoked. I fought for 2 years with my Ex and his family about smoking around the kids and my girls were chronic severe asthmatics. Only when my oldest was hospitalized for 5 days after she stopped breathing and the specialist told them they could not smoke around them did they start smoking outside. Then it was the fight about the cars and changing clothes after smoking. It was pathetic to me.
jesssanate
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 5:56 PM
I think it is horrible. I grew up with parents who smoked in the car (they didn't in the house) and GPs that smoked in the house. I feel terrible for SS because there are 3 adults in Moms house that smoke heavily with the door wide open, mom smokes in the car whenever SS isn't in the car (it reeks of smoke.)

DH smokes only outside of the home (ie work) and very lightly AFTER the kids are in bed. He wishes BM and her family could at least cut back cause SS is displaying breathing/asthmatic issues.
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 6:03 PM

 smoking should be outside.

cdrainey3
by Cher on Mar. 28, 2014 at 6:19 PM
I wouldn't let my husbands mom watch my baby because she smoked in her house and would go in the bathroom to smoke when we were there. Even after we asked her not to I knew she was. I was his bitchy new wife because I didn't like going over there and wouldn't let her watch my son, she passed away at age 55 of lung cancer. I'm an ex smoker too. I just had respect for others. I can testify though that smoking is one of the hardest things to give up, I still to this day crave one if I'm stressed. So when a smoker says they are gonna quit they probably deep down want to, but are too addicted.

Smoking around children is wrong and if you can enforce it you should. That's your children's health and like you said, they don't want to smell like it. There's nothing worse than the smell of stale smoke.
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 6:24 PM
I smoke.. Not in the house or the car when I have the kids.. But it would limit us. My grandmother is no longer very mobile the kids wouldn't see her unless we go to their house. She is a chain smoker with Alzheimer's she wouldn't remember if we asked her not to smoke in the first place. That sad we don't do long visits over to their house
csxt99
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 6:24 PM

No.  What goes on in their home is none of your business, and that includes where they do or don't smoke.

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 6:26 PM
Smoking should take place outside. 2nd hand smoke is terrible and kids deserve better then that.

I used to smoke and I never smoked in the house. I also never smoked in the car when my sc were w/me.
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