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Typical?

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:40 PM
  • 34 Replies

Question:

Is it a typical behavior for the BP with the EOWE visits to be against the children being in sports? Because it "cuts into their time" Or is it just a special few parents that think this. 

Thoughts? Experience?

by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:43 PM

I have never had this issue with my XH. My daughter was in the musical at school and it took up a lot of her time and every Saturday. He would just pick her up after her rehearsal was over and spend the rest of his time with her. 

He thought it sucked but he understood that it was important to her so he sucked it up. 

lovelymomma87
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:56 PM

See and to me, that's what a parent does. BM treats sports like the biggest inconvenience in the world. The boys haven't been involved in ANYTHING this year because she says she won't bring them to it if games fall on her time. Just last night, SS11 was SUPER excited to tell his mom about soccer, BM and Dad talked and she told Dad that she thought "we weren't doing sports this year". It really sucks because both boys are good at the sports they've been in. My SS13 was in BB 2 winters ago and did SO great, we couldn't put him in it last winter because he broke his arm, but I really wanted to see him in it this year because he loved it, he was so proud of himself, but there's nothing I can do because I'm SM. I don't know, the sports take up our time on the weekends too, but I'd gladly give that time to watching all the children at their sports even when it's exhausting to get to them all. Last spring, I even volunteered to coach SS11's team just to make sure he could play because without enough coaches, they have to cancel that age group. Did it take up my time? Yes. Did it take me away from my DD6's soccer games? Yes. But it was okay, both kids were happy. I guess it's just the way I choose to parent though.

Quoting Boobear110:

I have never had this issue with my XH. My daughter was in the musical at school and it took up a lot of her time and every Saturday. He would just pick her up after her rehearsal was over and spend the rest of his time with her. 

He thought it sucked but he understood that it was important to her so he sucked it up. 


leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:58 PM

I think it is dependent on the parent, many visits DH, the NCP, got were because BM the CP wanted DH to take SS to sports events because it wasn't her thing, it isn't really my thing either so I am not knocking BM.

Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

Boobear110
by Audra on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:03 PM

I'm not sure how BM would respond to EC. Right now SD is in dance. It's not on her Mom's nights but she got pissed because it wasn't. She said we were trying to exclude her.

 I'm hoping we can keep dance the way it is but we don't determine when the classes are the studio does. 

Sometimes you're damned if you do and damned if you don't 

Quoting lovelymomma87:

See and to me, that's what a parent does. BM treats sports like the biggest inconvenience in the world. The boys haven't been involved in ANYTHING this year because she says she won't bring them to it if games fall on her time. Just last night, SS11 was SUPER excited to tell his mom about soccer, BM and Dad talked and she told Dad that she thought "we weren't doing sports this year". It really sucks because both boys are good at the sports they've been in. My SS13 was in BB 2 winters ago and did SO great, we couldn't put him in it last winter because he broke his arm, but I really wanted to see him in it this year because he loved it, he was so proud of himself, but there's nothing I can do because I'm SM. I don't know, the sports take up our time on the weekends too, but I'd gladly give that time to watching all the children at their sports even when it's exhausting to get to them all. Last spring, I even volunteered to coach SS11's team just to make sure he could play because without enough coaches, they have to cancel that age group. Did it take up my time? Yes. Did it take me away from my DD6's soccer games? Yes. But it was okay, both kids were happy. I guess it's just the way I choose to parent though.

Quoting Boobear110:

I have never had this issue with my XH. My daughter was in the musical at school and it took up a lot of her time and every Saturday. He would just pick her up after her rehearsal was over and spend the rest of his time with her. 

He thought it sucked but he understood that it was important to her so he sucked it up. 


lovelymomma87
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:05 PM

I can understand it not being her thing, but to prevent the children from participating seems really wrong to me. I wish she would work with DH to make all the games happen for the kids while still having her visits, or making up the time somehow, or something, you know?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think it is dependent on the parent, many visits DH, the NCP, got were because BM the CP wanted DH to take SS to sports events because it wasn't her thing, it isn't really my thing either so I am not knocking BM.


chanizen
by Platinum Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:11 PM
Idk, my ex fully supports dd but if he didn't, she may have to choose ecs with less load on the weekends....

Neither she (nor I ) can force him to drive or use his time for her ecs.

That said, ecs are important to kids... It would.
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:17 PM

I agree, I believe in the importance of sports, if DH didn't do it, I would.

Quoting lovelymomma87:

I can understand it not being her thing, but to prevent the children from participating seems really wrong to me. I wish she would work with DH to make all the games happen for the kids while still having her visits, or making up the time somehow, or something, you know?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think it is dependent on the parent, many visits DH, the NCP, got were because BM the CP wanted DH to take SS to sports events because it wasn't her thing, it isn't really my thing either so I am not knocking BM.


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

lovelymomma87
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:23 PM

The thing that also gets to me, is when she had the kids living with her, she had all these "services" for them for behavioral things, PCA's, meds, etc, and at that time and during the time with us, professionals have said that sports will greatly help the boys in many areas where they're stunted. I don't understand why she's so against this way of helping them....

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I agree, I believe in the importance of sports, if DH didn't do it, I would.

Quoting lovelymomma87:

I can understand it not being her thing, but to prevent the children from participating seems really wrong to me. I wish she would work with DH to make all the games happen for the kids while still having her visits, or making up the time somehow, or something, you know?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think it is dependent on the parent, many visits DH, the NCP, got were because BM the CP wanted DH to take SS to sports events because it wasn't her thing, it isn't really my thing either so I am not knocking BM.


wise.toes
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:35 PM

i know my ex would have a problem with extracurriculars falling on his time. i make sure anything the kids are in don't interfere with his time. 

CrunchMaMaBear
by Queen Crunch on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:40 PM
my SSs are pretty non active but if they were I could honesty see dh complaining about it, only because he works 6-7 days a week and only really gets 1 day with them. if it happen to fall on that day, I think he wouldn't want it to happen. but this is all my assumption
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