Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

For the new stepmoms and the not-so-new that are sincerely seeking help

Posted by   + Show Post

Be careful.  Take "advice" with a grain of salt.  Listen to the ladies that are kind and offer constructive solutions.  I have seen countless women ripped to shreds in here by a group of angry bio mothers.  Women come here seeking help...some are at wits end...and they get greeted with hostility, anger and judgment.

It makes me sad to know that someone hitting rock bottom in step hell comes to a "support site" and instead of support they get devoured.

Not all groups are like this..some are kind and helpful.   

Good luck to you!

by on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:14 PM
Replies (11-20):
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting AmericanDream:

 I'm pretty sure SugarCoated Shit is the prefered breakfast cereal of some.

Quoting Tigress22304:

But....this isn't a support group.......I mean we'll gladly offer our 2 cents and help one another...but for the most part-we're honest..we're not into the whole coddling/hand holding singing kumbya deal....let's face it-I can't sing for shit!

But I will be straight honest with you, if I think I could help another SM, then I will.

Rather be brutally honest then sugarcoat the shit.

 

eh it's time to pull up your underoos and join the real world.

sorry I don't do the saccherin sweet deal unless you're one of my minions



HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:28 PM
2 moms liked this
Quoting FroYoBitch:

 Exhibit A...


Quoting amanda_mom89: I think you'd be surprised to find out that most of the women in here are SMs. Not BM's. And yes, some women in here are bitches from time to time. But most of the time I see someone whining it's because they got a strong dose of reality and truth and they didn't like it. This group is not everyone's cup of tea. But if have thick skin and an open mind, it's chock full of great advice and supportive women. The women who have been successful in their step lives have overcome a lot and they didn't get there by crying that someone was mean. You have to be tough, flexible and willing to step outside your comfort zone. And that's why their advice comes like it does. I don't know where I'd be without this group. I don't always agree with everyone and sometimes a post doesn't go the way I want it to.. But this is a good group.

 




What is wrong with what she is saying that makes it 'exhibit A'? Do you dislike honesty? Directness? This is an accurate mature response. I think it is a great description of this group. I'm very confused by your attack of it...or us your attack of Amanda? That would confuse me too.

HopesNDreams

Come join me at Stepping Beyond StepParenting, a group for stepmoms dealing with troubled preteens/teens
amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:28 PM
6 moms liked this
I am very introspective actually. And I wasn't hostile at all. I acknowledged that this isn't for everyone and spoke only in generalities. I don't know how I could have been nicer in providing an opinion that contrasted yours.

So.. Basically we are not allowed to disagree or find anything helpful from this group?

Quoting FroYoBitch:

 As I expected..a lack of introspection elicits hostility when the curtain is pulled back.

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:31 PM
2 moms liked this
Quoting Tigress22304:

But....this isn't a support group.......I mean we'll gladly offer our 2 cents and help one another...but for the most part-we're honest..we're not into the whole coddling/hand holding singing kumbya deal....let's face it-I can't sing for shit!

But I will be straight honest with you, if I think I could help another SM, then I will.

Rather be brutally honest then sugarcoat the shit.



I've found you to be very supportive! Not once have you sang...that might be why!

HopesNDreams

Come join me at Stepping Beyond StepParenting, a group for stepmoms dealing with troubled preteens/teens
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:33 PM
3 moms liked this

I agree with some of the points from your original post but Amamda is far from an example of one of the bitches. This isn't a support group and that is what is unfortunate, if you need serious help, this is probably not the place for it.

Quoting FroYoBitch:

 Exhibit A...

Quoting amanda_mom89: I think you'd be surprised to find out that most of the women in here are SMs. Not BM's. And yes, some women in here are bitches from time to time. But most of the time I see someone whining it's because they got a strong dose of reality and truth and they didn't like it. This group is not everyone's cup of tea. But if have thick skin and an open mind, it's chock full of great advice and supportive women. The women who have been successful in their step lives have overcome a lot and they didn't get there by crying that someone was mean. You have to be tough, flexible and willing to step outside your comfort zone. And that's why their advice comes like it does. I don't know where I'd be without this group. I don't always agree with everyone and sometimes a post doesn't go the way I want it to.. But this is a good group.

 


Career Woman, Wife and Mother of Two Children, a Girl and a Boy.

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting AmericanDream:

 I'm pretty sure SugarCoated Shit is the prefered breakfast cereal of some.


Quoting Tigress22304:

But....this isn't a support group.......I mean we'll gladly offer our 2 cents and help one another...but for the most part-we're honest..we're not into the whole coddling/hand holding singing kumbya deal....let's face it-I can't sing for shit!


But I will be straight honest with you, if I think I could help another SM, then I will.


Rather be brutally honest then sugarcoat the shit.


 



How seriously do you take a response that is completely hostile though??? I just roll my eyes and move on. I don't understand why people engage them.

HopesNDreams

Come join me at Stepping Beyond StepParenting, a group for stepmoms dealing with troubled preteens/teens
Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:34 PM


Quoting HopesNDreams:
Quoting Tigress22304:

But....this isn't a support group.......I mean we'll gladly offer our 2 cents and help one another...but for the most part-we're honest..we're not into the whole coddling/hand holding singing kumbya deal....let's face it-I can't sing for shit!

But I will be straight honest with you, if I think I could help another SM, then I will.

Rather be brutally honest then sugarcoat the shit.

I've found you to be very supportive! Not once have you sang...that might be why!

I refuse to sing in public. My voice is horrible and I can barely carry a tune in a bucket!

Then again-if you grew up in my family-you would learn REAL QUICK about support and helping.


AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:35 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting HopesNDreams:
Quoting Tigress22304:

But....this isn't a support group.......I mean we'll gladly offer our 2 cents and help one another...but for the most part-we're honest..we're not into the whole coddling/hand holding singing kumbya deal....let's face it-I can't sing for shit!

But I will be straight honest with you, if I think I could help another SM, then I will.

Rather be brutally honest then sugarcoat the shit.

I've found you to be very supportive! Not once have you sang...that might be why!

Oh... CafeMom The Musical.  That would be... HORRIBLE. 

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:40 PM
2 moms liked this

 

Quoting HopesNDreams:
Quoting AmericanDream:

 I'm pretty sure SugarCoated Shit is the prefered breakfast cereal of some.

Quoting Tigress22304:

But....this isn't a support group.......I mean we'll gladly offer our 2 cents and help one another...but for the most part-we're honest..we're not into the whole coddling/hand holding singing kumbya deal....let's face it-I can't sing for shit!

But I will be straight honest with you, if I think I could help another SM, then I will.

Rather be brutally honest then sugarcoat the shit.

 

How seriously do you take a response that is completely hostile though??? I just roll my eyes and move on. I don't understand why people engage them.

I don't. Or well, don't seriously engage.  Sometimes it's fun to poke bears but generally, people want to help those who actually want help. 

stepdiva
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:41 PM
2 moms liked this
And sometimes we just need to know we aren't the only ones facing whatever the problem or challenge is. Unless you've been a step parent, you can't possibly know what it entails.
This is the hardest thing I've ever done!

Quoting FroYoBitch:

Be careful.  Take "advice" with a grain of salt.  Listen to the ladies that are kind and offer constructive solutions.  I have seen countless women ripped to shreds in here by a group of angry bio mothers.  Women come here seeking help...some are at wits end...and they get greeted with hostility, anger and judgment.

It makes me sad to know that someone hitting rock bottom in step hell comes to a "support site" and instead of support they get devoured.

Not all groups are like this..some are kind and helpful.   

Good luck to you!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN