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Appointments

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 8:51 AM
  • 37 Replies
I am curious to see if anyone out there as a CPSM is expected to bring SKs to appointments made by BM. Background: SKS are in school, I am a SAHM with DS, both BF and BM work full time. I always expected to bring SKs to doctor, dentist, and therapy but even though BM never goes, she insists on making the appointment, without even checking to make sure I have nothing else planned. I know this seems strange and I really don't mind bringing SKs to appts, I just want to pick times/dates that work better for me. I do know I can choose to say "NO" but that would cause more conflict.
by on Apr. 1, 2014 at 8:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 8:57 AM
No and I would tell her if she wanted me to I will have DH make the appointment at a convenient time for me...or she could take them. DH can deal with the drama.
AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:02 AM

 This.

Quoting SassyMom25: No and I would tell her if she wanted me to I will have DH make the appointment at a convenient time for me...or she could take them. DH can deal with the drama.

 

Plinko_mom
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:08 AM
I have had DH call in a couple times but BM likes to cancel the appts that work for me and make new ones. Just curious, if BM doesn't take them and I don't take them for DH who is CP, would that cause problems for DH if we ever went back to court?

Quoting SassyMom25: No and I would tell her if she wanted me to I will have DH make the appointment at a convenient time for me...or she could take them. DH can deal with the drama.
owl0210
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:12 AM
You don't have to do anything. I schedule my son's appointments during my time not my ex-husband's time. I'm not a SAHM I work full time so I usually take a few hours off because his doctors aren't open on the weekends.

Quoting Plinko_mom: I have had DH call in a couple times but BM likes to cancel the appts that work for me and make new ones. Just curious, if BM doesn't take them and I don't take them for DH who is CP, would that cause problems for DH if we ever went back to court?

Quoting SassyMom25: No and I would tell her if she wanted me to I will have DH make the appointment at a convenient time for me...or she could take them. DH can deal with the drama.
whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:12 AM

You can solve this problem easy. Just be unavailble one time. From that point on, Mom will check with you first.

Take control, or stop complaining.

SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:14 AM
Does BM inform you of the change?

I really don't think it would because you could show that BM is doing it for control...has no interest in taking the kids herself or have their best interest in mind.

If anything I would use that information to try and get it ordered that BM not make appointments if she won't be attending them, especially if this has been ongoing.


Quoting Plinko_mom: I have had DH call in a couple times but BM likes to cancel the appts that work for me and make new ones. Just curious, if BM doesn't take them and I don't take them for DH who is CP, would that cause problems for DH if we ever went back to court?

Quoting SassyMom25: No and I would tell her if she wanted me to I will have DH make the appointment at a convenient time for me...or she could take them. DH can deal with the drama.
tiafez
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:14 AM

if you are afraid to say no then you're kind ofstuck. if an appt she sets doesn't work for you, sweetly say "I'm sorry, I cannot do it at that time. " and if she pitches a stink, remind her she assumed you could when she set the appt. , she never asked you if you could. sadly this is a stand you have to make at least once if it's really an issue for you. 


I love the name plinko_mom :)

Plinko_mom
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:21 AM
No, I have shown up to a couple of appts that were cancelled.

Quoting SassyMom25: Does BM inform you of the change?

I really don't think it would because you could show that BM is doing it for control...has no interest in taking the kids herself or have their best interest in mind.

If anything I would use that information to try and get it ordered that BM not make appointments if she won't be attending them, especially if this has been ongoing.


Quoting Plinko_mom: I have had DH call in a couple times but BM likes to cancel the appts that work for me and make new ones. Just curious, if BM doesn't take them and I don't take them for DH who is CP, would that cause problems for DH if we ever went back to court?

Quoting SassyMom25: No and I would tell her if she wanted me to I will have DH make the appointment at a convenient time for me...or she could take them. DH can deal with the drama.
Plinko_mom
by Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:26 AM
I wasn't trying to complain but I can see your point. BM just made two more appts so I will just tell her I can't. I was just curious if anyone else had this issue. I would never as a BM expect someone else to go in my place.

Quoting whatIknownow:

You can solve this problem easy. Just be unavailble one time. From that point on, Mom will check with you first.

Take control, or stop complaining.

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Apr. 1, 2014 at 9:28 AM

well in defense of BM, it's really your DH's job to take them to these appointments, or appoint a surrogate. He has appointed you. So you're not going in her place, you're going in his place.

However she should definitely check with you to make sure the times are convenient for you, or ask you ahead of time, what times work for you.

Quoting Plinko_mom: I wasn't trying to complain but I can see your point. BM just made two more appts so I will just tell her I can't. I was just curious if anyone else had this issue. I would never as a BM expect someone else to go in my place.
Quoting whatIknownow:

You can solve this problem easy. Just be unavailble one time. From that point on, Mom will check with you first.

Take control, or stop complaining.


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