I feel like a roommate more than a wife in my own home
I'm new to the sight and hope to vent, learn and share with everyone out here :) A little background info would help. I have two kids 25 and 22 and 3 stepkids from my first marriage. Everyone is out of the house except my daughter who graduates college in one month. I married a wonderful man two years ago. We dated for 4 years, but moved in only a couple of months before the wedding. One week before the wedding, both his kids, 16 and 17, asked if they could move in with us. I did not have a problem with it and was actually flattered the kids wanted to live with us. All that being said, it's not the kids who are the issue, but my husband. He does not realize I am the wife and other parent in the house, or that I've had to make a lot of adjusments considering the living arrangements. I could not in good conscience say no they can't move in with us, but I was not prepared for all the changes. His kids rarely go out or have friends, but they are good kids (no drugs or alcohol). I commute 2 hours roundtrip and work 9 hr days (my husband is my age but lucky enough to be retired) When I get home, I like to sit and talk with him about our day and sometimes share a glass of wine before going up to shower before dinner. His kids shared a car and I would usually get home 1 1/2 hours before the high schooler got home from activities at school. Now that the car has been totaled by her, dad gives her a ride to school and picks her up after acitivities and gone is our time to talk before she got home every night. But as if that's not frustrating, after we're all done with dinner, she sits with us in the family room the rest of the night and usually spends it texting, talking a little with us and sometimes curling up and dozing. I love my stepkids, however, I usually have to wait till we're in our bedroom to have any conversation in private or have alone time and the only time alone in the house consists of maybe just a Saturday or Sunday but never really know until it happens. Now when I walk in, there may be a peck on the cheek and it's frustrating always having someone listening to every word we say. My husband doesn't understand why I'm angry, frustrated and feeling like I'm just a roommate who helps with the rent. He also used to text 'goodnight' to his son in college every single night when we went up in our bedroom. I explained nicely the first time how I felt and perhaps he can do that downstairs before we're in our room. It's a small thing to ask, but he kept doing it and couldn't see what the problem was. I said it was our only time alone all day and it took away from my feeling romantic and like I was the focus of his attention for a little bit. Now a huge fight ensued because I wanted to see my daughter in a play at college (2 hrs away) and I asked if he would go with me. He said yes, but instead of making other arrangements to have his daughter picked up after school, he kept me waiting for 45 minutes. I did go ballistic about everything else going on, and he called me a lunatic :( HELP!