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Deceased ex-spouse/father

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:39 PM
  • 162 Replies

I need some guidance.  My ex-husband died two years.  We had divorced just 6 weeks before he died.  Last weekend I was going through my storage and my daughter found a family picture of us (my ex, myself and my two daughters taken some time ago.  I am newly married (married in January, 2014).  My daughter asked if she could put the family picture in her room to remember her dad.  My current husband saw it in her room and told me that he felt somewhat uncomfortable and went on to say that he wasn't sure how his own daughter (age 14-same age as my daughter) might feel when she comes over (they share a room when his daughter is here which is every other weekend.   Please give me your thoughts.  I told him that I thought it was important to her, that it is a part of her grief and just for her.  Thank you for listening. 


     

by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
shannonw79
by Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:41 PM
23 moms liked this
She should be able to keep a picture of her family in her room. Period.
SassyMom25
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:41 PM
5 moms liked this
He needs to get over it.
amantonacci
by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:43 PM
5 moms liked this
He needs to grow up... Her father is deceased she should be encouraged to remember him
Leigh84
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:45 PM
8 moms liked this
Your DH needs to me more understanding. Your dd lost her father. Pictures are very valuable when all you have are memories.
sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:51 PM
2 moms liked this

Why would her step-sister be uncomfortable? It's not like your DH came into her life at a super early age.  I'd think that SD would be ok with it since she knows that her dad is not your DD's dad.

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:53 PM
1 mom liked this

 This exactly.  Your DH is behaving like a juvenile.  Your DD's dad is deceased!  He needs to let her have her memories and pictures of her dad.

Quoting amantonacci: He needs to grow up... Her father is deceased she should be encouraged to remember him

 

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 7:57 PM
2 moms liked this

She should be able to have the picture in her own room.  I mean, if she'd asked to have a 24 x 36 portrait of it blown up and placed in the family room for 'all' to see 'all the time', that'd be one thing, but, a small (I'm guessing) picture of her family, at one time, is perfectly acceptable.  It's not as if it's a recent picture and your DH has something to worry about.  The man is dead, he's not a 'threat' and what your DD has are ONLY her memories and pictures now. 

I'm very sorry for her loss.  I bet the picture brings her some comfort and perhaps even good memories of her and her BF.  That has nothing to do with your DH. 

He needs to get over it.  As for his DD, WHY would it make her feel uncomfortable?  Does she not know that your DD has a different father or something? 

wise.toes
by Silver Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:02 PM
2 moms liked this

she should be allowed to proudly display that photo. 

your insecure husband should get over it. 

ladytweet
by Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:04 PM

i lost my dad at a young age and his pictures are all i have i told them very close to me ...... your dh has to understand that ...... even if he is a great man / step father .... to her her dad will always be gone .... and there is a lot that goes with that not just a person .. her wedding dances ..... boyfriends being scared of him knowing he is always there (no i'm not saying you dh couldn't do some of those things ) but it is different i am 23 and still miss my dad he died when i was only 8..... 

Kimsundaram
by New Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:05 PM
1 mom liked this
If his ex wife was dead I bet he wouldn't object to his daughter having a photo out
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