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Help me not take her attitude personally

Posted by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:09 AM
  • 39 Replies

How can I not react in the moment when my 12 yr old SD is fresh. I'm finding it very hard not to take it personally. After about an hour, I'm able to let it go. But I'm scared I will say something I regret later.

I've been told u need a thick skin with tween/teen attitude, but I honestly thought my skin was thicker than this!

She's being disciplined for her disrespect, but the bad attitude persists. Dad cannot do too much more than he's doing, she gives him the same treatment.

by on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:09 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NewStepMom373
by Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:29 AM

You just have to remind yourself that she is a kid and she's pushing boundaries- stand your ground and try to keep as calm as possible- I find it messes with their little minds when I either do not react or react very calmly and matter of fact to a situation because ultimately she's looking for attention with bad behavior. I have even had my ss's sit with me while I explained that if they would like extra personal attention from Dad or I just ask- please don't act out because then everyone gets upset when you need extra attention let us know and we'll accomodate. It's actually working too.

I get it's frustrating and sometimes you want to scream- but at the end of the day- you are the adult and she the child- try to keep being the adult! Good luck.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this

Walk away. Leave the room. That's really all you can do. All 12yo's do this. Every last one of them. Don't react.. just walk away and go find something else to do.

OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:35 AM
I tell my DD10 that I don't like her attitude and to go into her room until I calm down.
Rocker.Mom.07
by The Savior on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:40 AM

I am not looking forward to the teen years in the house. The girls ages are 5, 6, and 7...6 year old SD's mom still acts like she's in high school...so yay! =/ 

Advice...not sure I have any lol I try to think every now and then about how I'll handle it...then I almost end up in tears just thinking about it lol jk...I'll have to come back in here and read the replies...

veggiemom474
by Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:46 AM

 ok, I agree. BUT! What if its about something I just asker her not to do, or to do, and she says something fresh, then ignores me?!

Quoting whatIknownow:

Walk away. Leave the room. That's really all you can do. All 12yo's do this. Every last one of them. Don't react.. just walk away and go find something else to do.

 

veggiemom474
by Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:49 AM

 Wow, u don't know anything about our family, but yet you hit the nail right on the head!

She does need/want more time with dad. We are changing that. But knowing that doesn't make it easier for me to deal with her in the moment. I have to keep my cool. I'm really trying.

Quoting NewStepMom373:

You just have to remind yourself that she is a kid and she's pushing boundaries- stand your ground and try to keep as calm as possible- I find it messes with their little minds when I either do not react or react very calmly and matter of fact to a situation because ultimately she's looking for attention with bad behavior. I have even had my ss's sit with me while I explained that if they would like extra personal attention from Dad or I just ask- please don't act out because then everyone gets upset when you need extra attention let us know and we'll accomodate. It's actually working too.

I get it's frustrating and sometimes you want to scream- but at the end of the day- you are the adult and she the child- try to keep being the adult! Good luck.

 

veggiemom474
by Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:51 AM

 But many times its about something I asked her to do, or not do to. If I did this during those times, she would get away with it.

Quoting OvrMyHead: I tell my DD10 that I don't like her attitude and to go into her room until I calm down.

 

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:54 AM

Like what? can you give an example?

Quoting veggiemom474:

 ok, I agree. BUT! What if its about something I just asker her not to do, or to do, and she says something fresh, then ignores me?!

Quoting whatIknownow:

Walk away. Leave the room. That's really all you can do. All 12yo's do this. Every last one of them. Don't react.. just walk away and go find something else to do.



OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2014 at 10:57 AM

 Then i start taking things away from DD.  First thing i take is her ipad.  I will empty her room if i need to.

Quoting veggiemom474:

 But many times its about something I asked her to do, or not do to. If I did this during those times, she would get away with it.

Quoting OvrMyHead: I tell my DD10 that I don't like her attitude and to go into her room until I calm down.

 

 

Married, CSM to SD14 & SS12, CBM to DS12 & DD9

cdrainey3
by Cher on Apr. 4, 2014 at 11:01 AM
My ss is going into preteen age and the attitude is following right along. I just ignore it. I tell him if he's going to be in a bad mood to leave the room. He probably doesn't really like me right now, but oh well. Sorry that's not the best advice, I'm not really sure how to deal with it all either.
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