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For DH

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 9:19 PM
  • 46 Replies

 I'm posting for DH.  Their CO states that the parties are to have Easter every other year.  Not the weekend, but Easter.  Easter weekend is DH's.  Every even year he has had SD since she was 2.  She is now 8, and it is his year for Easter and his weekend as well.  I hope I'm making sense so far. 

Last year, SD spent Easter with DH.  She said she had to work and asked DH to take her last year.  DH said fine, but please remember that this is your year for Easter, and I'm not giving up my year next year.  He wanted to keep this year's Easter and the rotation the same.  She said fine, whatever, just keep her.  She was fighting with her boyfriend, and had no one to watch her.  Great, we had her here. 

This year, it is his year for Easter, and she sends him a text today saying it's her year, and she's keeping her the entire weekend.  Keep in mind, only the day is listed in their CO, not the weekend, and it's DH's year for Easter.  DH reminds her of what happened last year, and she denies it ever happened, saying it's her year and she's keeping her, because she wants to take her to church.  DH said fine, since I had her last year for Easter, I'll just pick her up Thursday evening at 6 and keep her until Saturday at 6, and you can have the holiday.  It's not worth fighting over.  We had plans with her Saturday, anyway, and Easter could be celebrated Sat.  No big, right?

She said, no, it's my year, I'm keeping her the whole weekend, end of discussion.  He wants to know what he should do next.  He's really upset, because it'll be another month before he sees SD again at this rate, and it's his time to have her, and it's being taken away yet again.  I know he has time for her to change her mind, but she NEVER has and has run off with her for months at a time when she doesn't get her way.  He is upset and nervous.  Should he start the process to file for contempt?  I know he can't until she officially doesn't show on Good Friday, but still.  He's mad, heartbroken, and sick of the nonsense.  He thought he offered her a reasonable accommodation, but she won't hear any part of a compromise.  Suggestions for him?

by on Apr. 6, 2014 at 9:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
Keep her for his time. As ling as he has the custody order to show its his year she would he in contempt for keeping her. Keep all the the texts/emails of this for proof of this whole messed up situation. Also, if she's constantly keeping her on DH's time then he needs proof of this so he can file contempt against her.
hissminenours
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 9:47 PM
1 mom liked this
I would let her know now that he will be filing contempt if she chooses to keep her on his holiday.
SarahlovesLiz
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:03 PM

 He let her know, and she's telling him "You had better not piss me off." 

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:17 PM
1 mom liked this
He needs to let her know what the CO says and he needs to show up at the COd time for pick up. 50/50 chance of her not allowing him to have her but maybe if he is there she will cave. Mom is wrong. It was nice of him to agree to switching allowing her Easter this year even though it was to keep from arguing over it. But it is his weekend and he should have her.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:18 PM
5 moms liked this
Well she's going to be pissed off. That's not his problem. She can get happy in the same pants she got pissed in. :)

Quoting SarahlovesLiz:

 He let her know, and she's telling him "You had better not piss me off." 

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SarahlovesLiz
by Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:26 PM

 Yeah, but those pants are going to reek!!!  lol  I'm just tired of the nonsense.  It's costing a lot of money to do these legalities, she still gets to keep the weekend when he had plans with her and holiday, and what will she really get?  A slap on the wrist?  It's so frustrating. 

Quoting momof2ex1: Well she's going to be pissed off. That's not his problem. She can get happy in the same pants she got pissed in. :)
Quoting SarahlovesLiz:

 He let her know, and she's telling him "You had better not piss me off." 

 

Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2014 at 10:41 PM
2 moms liked this

It is frustrating but eventually a judge will get tired of her being in contempt. Document Document Document!

Quoting SarahlovesLiz:

 Yeah, but those pants are going to reek!!!  lol  I'm just tired of the nonsense.  It's costing a lot of money to do these legalities, she still gets to keep the weekend when he had plans with her and holiday, and what will she really get?  A slap on the wrist?  It's so frustrating. 

Quoting momof2ex1: Well she's going to be pissed off. That's not his problem. She can get happy in the same pants she got pissed in. :)
Quoting SarahlovesLiz:

 He let her know, and she's telling him "You had better not piss me off." 

 


packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Apr. 7, 2014 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this

this stuff isn't even about the kids, is it? 

It's about his vs. her time. 

I can only imagine what it will look like to the kid once they are adult looking back. 

cdrainey3
by Cher on Apr. 7, 2014 at 1:06 AM
He needs to follow the co and nothing less. He tried to compromise, she wouldn't have it so her problem.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2014 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't disagree with what you are saying but when does it stop? I'm in this struggle now. Having to decide when to just stop being walked on, the CO being disregarded, contempt every single time I turn around. I don't think that dad should just keep allowing her to disregard the CO so that the kids aren't in the middle. Do you disagree that mom is wrong? What is your solution to a situation like this? I'm asking because like I said - I'm dealing with this kind of stuff now and I struggle with knowing when to just let it go and when enough is enough.

Quoting packermom4ever:

this stuff isn't even about the kids, is it? 

It's about his vs. her time. 

I can only imagine what it will look like to the kid once they are adult looking back. 

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