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UPDATE: Bm wants to come over...

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 6:49 PM
  • 61 Replies

Some of you know that DH is in a heated custody battle. Bm has tested positive for drugs (for court) and is making false abuse allegations against dh to harass and alienate dh from ss(5).

Anywho, dh has ss for spring break. Started last thurs. When ss asks to call bm, dh lets him. Ss hasn't asked. Or brought up bm.

Bm is having a hard time being away from ss. She keeps texting dh saying ss forgot homework at her house and could she bring it over. Dh said sure but we're not home just leave it in the mailbox. She keeps text angry messages. She wants to see ss.

What would you do? Say no? What if she shows up here?

UPDATED 4/9: DH continued to get multiple text yesterday.  He considered, for a moment, going to get the homework from bm with SS in the car.  I explained that I didnt think that would be showing her boundries during his time with SS.  DH agreed, and text her again to drop the papers in our mailbox.  He got a fair storm on texts.  One threatening to call CPS again if he didnt allow her to see SS.  DH text back 'stop texting me' and had SS call her to say hi.  DH's lawyer has asked for pics of the texts... the lawyer thinks a few of them will look really bad for bm.  And DH was told that if she comes to the house to call the poice. 

by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 6:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 6:56 PM

Tough one

I wouldn't let her, especially if she can't control her anger, no need for ugly confrontation in front of child

What CO says about contact with a child during long breaks?

mrsd2013
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 6:57 PM
Co doesnt say anything about contact.

Quoting annabl1970:

Tough one


I wouldn't let her, especially if she can't control her anger, no need for ugly confrontation in front of child


What CO says about contact with a child during long breaks?

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:00 PM

she hasn't asked to talk to SS?

annabl1970
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:01 PM

 Keep messages, and contact attorney.

Can BM skype with SS?

Quoting mrsd2013: Co doesnt say anything about contact.
Quoting annabl1970:

Tough one

I wouldn't let her, especially if she can't control her anger, no need for ugly confrontation in front of child

What CO says about contact with a child during long breaks?

 

RigPrincess85
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:03 PM
That's a tough one... If it were me, BM would not be welcome in our home, especially when she clearly can't control her emotions. Not to mention being in a heated custody battle.

I honestly don't think it would be smart.

raegan1221
by Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:03 PM
I wouldn't let her for reasons pp said plus its your time with him right now.
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:03 PM

If she shows up, Dad can don't let her in, since there is nothing in CO about her seeing son during his time.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:08 PM
I would at least encourage SS to call his mother on the phone.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mrsd2013
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:14 PM
She asked to talk to ss. Dh isn't sure on what to do about that because ss hasn't asked about her. She can't emotionally be alone (without) ss). Its unhealthy, but not my place to judge. You would still encourage?

Quoting momof2ex1: I would at least encourage SS to call his mother on the phone.
Lisette1528
by Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 7:14 PM

BM isn't permitted at our house.  We do exchanges at a nearby parking lot when she actually wants to see DSS.  I don't trust her, DH doesn't trust her, so she is not allowed here.

OP: if BM is that insistant on Son getting homework (or whatever he left), suggest that DH pick up said items or she can leave it in the mailbox, as you've already given that option.  If she chooses neither, document and keep the records.  If there's nothing in the CO about seeing or communication with the other parent during visitations, then DH can refuse her entry to the property.

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