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actual advice would be great...

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:08 PM
  • 44 Replies
So idk if i should tell bms dad and sm im pregnant. Im really close with the sm and i know she wouldnt say anything but even though im close with her dad idk if he could keep this on the dl. Also i don't want to ask them to keep it a secret and i wouldnt. With bm relapsing already i don't want her knowing at all for my own safety and everyone else in our home. Im waiting til 12 weeks regardless maybe things will calm down by then? But what would you do? (Other than not dating a man with a crazy ex, date someone older ect. Ect. I don't need the bullshit answers actual advice would be nice for a change and if not ill take it to mom confessions instead ;)
by on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:12 PM
I don't know that I remember your BM story.

Why are you friends with her SM and dad? That's weird isn't it?

Hmmm I personally would just not tell anyone until 12 weeks unless you think you're going to start showing fast. I showed so super fast. I wasn't even out of my first trimester and these hips started spreading lol. It's so obvious on me.

Someone took a photo of me from the side at about 8 weeks. I started out with a flat tummy and all of a sudden had a pooch. Wtf?

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sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:18 PM
Thats how i am. This is my second and im super small but its still cold here so im wearing hoodies and im gonna wait til 12 weeks. Were close because they know bm is in a bad place and that i do alot for their granddaughter even though everyone on here just is judgemental because of age and think i want to play mom which isnt the case i have my own dd. Bm actually punched her dad in the face at one point. They like me because "without me &#*%#* would probably be in foster care" (SO wasnt around much and i kinda put him on the straight and narrow and everyone sees it, teachers, his Gma, his dds grandparents. Hes a completely different person than when i met him) that being said that's why were so close and i want to tell her but don't want to risk the bm finding out and going off the deep end...again

Quoting momof2ex1: I don't know that I remember your BM story. Why are you friends with her SM and dad? That's weird isn't it? Hmmm I personally would just not tell anyone until 12 weeks unless you think you're going to start showing fast. I showed so super fast. I wasn't even out of my first trimester and these hips started spreading lol. It's so obvious on me. Someone took a photo of me from the side at about 8 weeks. I started out with a flat tummy and all of a sudden had a pooch. Wtf?
sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:19 PM
Lol that went all over the place. Im overtired clearly

Quoting momof2ex1: I don't know that I remember your BM story. Why are you friends with her SM and dad? That's weird isn't it? Hmmm I personally would just not tell anyone until 12 weeks unless you think you're going to start showing fast. I showed so super fast. I wasn't even out of my first trimester and these hips started spreading lol. It's so obvious on me. Someone took a photo of me from the side at about 8 weeks. I started out with a flat tummy and all of a sudden had a pooch. Wtf?
hissminenours
by Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:19 PM
I wouldn't tell anyone until you were ready for BM to know. Just assume that you are telling her when you tell anyone associated in the tiniest way with her.
sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:21 PM
I don't want her knowing at all.. Which ik is unrealistic lol but i don't want to wait til im huge to tell. I guess ill just be prepared for her finding out but keep fingers crossed she doesnt

Quoting hissminenours: I wouldn't tell anyone until you were ready for BM to know. Just assume that you are telling her when you tell anyone associated in the tiniest way with her.
RonansMommy02
by Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:52 PM
Tell her now while you can still run lol jk
Seriously its a hard situation. I wish i had decent advice! Good luck!
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2014 at 11:57 PM

I would not tell anyone til I was past my first trimester, but after that..I'm not really clear on why you don't want peole to know.

Are you afraid for your safety?  For mental health reasons? Why is this an issue??

sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 12:01 AM
For my safety. Bm has been known to show up drunk, yell obscenities in front of her dd and my dd, become violent. Weve had to call the police 4 different times...thats why i don't want her knowing.

Quoting Birdseed:

I would not tell anyone til I was past my first trimester, but after that..I'm not really clear on why you don't want peole to know.

Are you afraid for your safety?  For mental health reasons? Why is this an issue??

sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 12:02 AM
Lol that is good advice!!! Im too exhausted to run, this first trimester is kicking my butt :(

Quoting RonansMommy02: Tell her now while you can still run lol jk
Seriously its a hard situation. I wish i had decent advice! Good luck!
KekeLi938
by Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 12:28 AM
My DH and I have never told BM when I was pregnant, and she has never told him when she was pregnant.
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