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How to phase our pregnancy?!

Posted by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 1:49 PM
  • 46 Replies

I'm a SM to a beautiful almost three year old little girl. 

Now my husband and I are pregnant with our first child together (my first bio-child).  I have run into the dilemma of how to phrase things.  For example, is it wrong of me to say "our first child."  Emphases on the OUR, since it's not HIS first, but OUR first.  Or do I have to add the "together" at the end to make it known that we don't at all exclude my SD from our family or lives? 

How have you all handled this situation?  Maybe I'm over thinking it.

Proud Wildland Firefighter's Wife ~ Expecting - November 2014 ~ Proud Step Mommy ~ Social Worker ~Living with our Lab
 BabyFetus Ticker

by on Apr. 9, 2014 at 1:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 1:58 PM
3 moms liked this

You are way overthinking it.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 i just said our child, but it was neither of our first so there is that.

melyndaann
by Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:00 PM

 Figured so.  lol
I just feel guilty for wanting to be excited that this is our first baby together, when we love SD dearly and she's just as much apart of our family as well.

Quoting WifeyC:

You are way overthinking it.

 

ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Your over thinking this...lol. I think when I was pregnant with my youngest I said our first together, but I already had one and so did he. In your case you could just say my first, or my first and his second. It really isn't that big of a deal either way though. No matter what you say I'm sure someone could find a complaint.
andie646c
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:01 PM
2 moms liked this

It's whatever you want ... it's your kid. 

When I was pregnant, no one really cared whose first child it was. Instead people just assumed ALL of the kids belonged to both of us and would say, "So, trying for a girl?" ... You will probably hear, more often than anything else, "Trying for a boy?" ...

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:02 PM
2 moms liked this

Guilty? Hell no! This is your first baby - be excited!

Quoting melyndaann:

 Figured so.  lol I just feel guilty for wanting to be excited that this is our first baby together, when we love SD dearly and she's just as much apart of our family as well.

Quoting WifeyC:

You are way overthinking it.



momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes overthinking it.

My husband and I do not have bio children together. We do have a son that is adopted by my dh.

I have a daughter. My husband has no bio children.

So when we were pregnant with OUR first child - while it was my 3rd pregnancy, it was his first. And together it was our first. Everyone knew it. And honestly I don't even know what we called it.

I was still just as excited with a third pregnancy as I was with my first. And second.

Quoting melyndaann:

 Figured so.  lol I just feel guilty for wanting to be excited that this is our first baby together, when we love SD dearly and she's just as much apart of our family as well.


Quoting WifeyC:

You are way overthinking it.


 

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soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't understand feeling guilty. I was excited for every pregnancy and that doesn't mean the other kids were less a part of our family. When it was us I would just say our first together. We usually had DS with us so people who didn't know just assumed it was DH's first and my second. Most people don't get that deep though. I think you may be over thinking just a little lol.

melyndaann
by Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this

I think another reason I may feel this way is because we don't see my SD often.  We didn't find out about her until she was almost one and we had already been living together.  She lives on the other side of the state as us and we only have the resources to travel back so often... So I feel like she isn't as big part of our family as I'd (and my husband) would like her to be.
So I don't want to drive her even further out by people thinking I mean "our only" when I say "our first."

Quoting soonergirl980:

I don't understand feeling guilty. I was excited for every pregnancy and that doesn't mean the other kids were less a part of our family. When it was us I would just say our first together. We usually had DS with us so people who didn't know just assumed it was DH's first and my second. Most people don't get that deep though. I think you may be over thinking just a little lol.

 

Proud Wildland Firefighter's Wife ~ Expecting - November 2014 ~ Proud Step Mommy ~ Social Worker ~Living with our Lab
 BabyFetus Ticker

wise.toes
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2014 at 2:46 PM
1 mom liked this

totally overthinking. =) i'd just say "our first child," as that's the truth. if anyone is rude enough to say anything, ignore 'em.

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