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Why agree to something and then change your mind a year later????

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 10:39 AM
  • 62 Replies

This is the crap that really makes me strongly dislike BM (not that I like her period).  BM got remarried and moved to another town.  15 mins away so it's no big deal.  Well BM wanted to redo the living arrangements with the skids so SS lives with us full time and SD lives with BM full time.  We have SD every Thursday night and EOWE to include Sunday night.  Before this change we were 50/50, both parents still have joint custody just primary residences now.  SD and SS were going to same school district but with BM moving, she wanted SD to go to the district that she lives in since she has primary residence now.  Anyway, BM agreed to all of this because she needed the papers signed.  BM's dad picks up SD when it's DH overnight with school the next morning and drops her off at BM's house because he goes right by there going to work (and he lives 2 miles from us).  Well grandpa is retiring next month and now BM wants to renig on her part of the agreement with SD staying overnight on school nights because it's too early for SD to get up.  Seriously?  She knew all of this when she agreed to the papers and now that Grandpa can't do her part of the running, she doesn't want to.  

Last Sunday BM sent a text saying that her dad had to be at work early Monday morning so she wanted to meet and pick up SD at 8:30 (this is becoming a normal thing).  DH says no, my overnight as usual so Grandpa can pick her up at 5:30 monday morning or SS can take her and meet you at 6:30 or 6:45.  BM flew off the handle and said why are you going to risk SS driving that early in the morning and that's your job and not his and you can tell SD why she has to get up 30 mins earlier and lots of other things and so on.  Well it was ok the day before for SS to pick up SD at BM's house (snow make up day on Saturday) because BM posted a pic on FB about the wonderful surprise she got by SS stopping by but it's not ok every other Monday morning for SS to get up 15 minutes earlier???????  DH sent a text back saying that since she feels so strongly about SS not driving that early in the morning then he won't be driving his truck to her house during the summer and she can make arrangements for him to be a football practice at 7 am.  Have not heard a word about it since and Grandpa picked up SD monday morning.  

Seriously - why be this way?  It's her way or the highway and I hate seeing DH being put through the ringer for every little thing.  What do you think?

by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 10:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I think (the best course of action for you) is to just stay out of it-and let them 2 work it out. You can't control her or her actions. Just ignore her and let hubby deal with her.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:06 AM

I was going to say basically this.

Quoting Tigress22304:

I think (the best course of action for you) is to just stay out of it-and let them 2 work it out. You can't control her or her actions. Just ignore her and let hubby deal with her.


WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:07 AM

Seriously, why can't SD just go back to her Mom's at 8:30?

grits71
by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:11 AM

I do stay out of it but I can't ignore my husband when he talks to me about it.  What do I say to him?  Hell yeah give up time with your daughter because your lazy a$$ ex-wife won't get up early to meet you??  How is that fair to him?  He's screwed either way.  Either give up time with his daughter or keep a nagging ankle biting dog on his behind.  I don't think she's being fair about this at all.

Quoting Tigress22304:

I think (the best course of action for you) is to just stay out of it-and let them 2 work it out. You can't control her or her actions. Just ignore her and let hubby deal with her.


grits71
by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:16 AM

If you ex agreed to something and then wanted to change it because it wasn't convenient for them would you do it?  Once in a while is fine but this is everytime Grandpa can't pick up SD, BM wants her either to not come or leave early.  How is that fair to DH to give up time with SD because BM won't get up early to pick up her child like she agreed to when she needed the papers signed?

Quoting WifeyC:

Seriously, why can't SD just go back to her Mom's at 8:30?


Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:16 AM


Quoting grits71:

I do stay out of it but I can't ignore my husband when he talks to me about it.  What do I say to him?  Hell yeah give up time with your daughter because your lazy a$$ ex-wife won't get up early to meet you??  How is that fair to him?  He's screwed either way.  Either give up time with his daughter or keep a nagging ankle biting dog on his behind.  I don't think she's being fair about this at all.

Quoting Tigress22304:

I think (the best course of action for you) is to just stay out of it-and let them 2 work it out. You can't control her or her actions. Just ignore her and let hubby deal with her.


before I go any further-how old is this girl?


WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:18 AM

What papers are you talking about?  If it is in a CO that BM is supposed to pick up her child in the morning then make that happen. If BM doesn't come get her, and she already asked that SD come home the night before, then prepare to take the kid to school.

Quoting grits71:

If you ex agreed to something and then wanted to change it because it wasn't convenient for them would you do it?  Once in a while is fine but this is everytime Grandpa can't pick up SD, BM wants her either to not come or leave early.  How is that fair to DH to give up time with SD because BM won't get up early to pick up her child like she agreed to when she needed the papers signed?

Quoting WifeyC:

Seriously, why can't SD just go back to her Mom's at 8:30?


grits71
by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:18 AM

11 in May - she's the one that I posted about earlier that clings to DH when she there.

Quoting Tigress22304:

Quoting grits71:

I do stay out of it but I can't ignore my husband when he talks to me about it.  What do I say to him?  Hell yeah give up time with your daughter because your lazy a$$ ex-wife won't get up early to meet you??  How is that fair to him?  He's screwed either way.  Either give up time with his daughter or keep a nagging ankle biting dog on his behind.  I don't think she's being fair about this at all.

Quoting Tigress22304:

I think (the best course of action for you) is to just stay out of it-and let them 2 work it out. You can't control her or her actions. Just ignore her and let hubby deal with her.


before I go any further-how old is this girl?


grits71
by on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:20 AM

Yes papers were signed by the judge after both parties agreed to change things.  

So you're telling me that just because BM requests that she come home the night before and she will not pick her up that DH is supposed to just take her to school?  I don't see how that if fair?

Quoting WifeyC:

What papers are you talking about?  If it is in a CO that BM is supposed to pick up her child in the morning then make that happen. If BM doesn't come get her, and she already asked that SD come home the night before, then prepare to take the kid to school.

Quoting grits71:

If you ex agreed to something and then wanted to change it because it wasn't convenient for them would you do it?  Once in a while is fine but this is everytime Grandpa can't pick up SD, BM wants her either to not come or leave early.  How is that fair to DH to give up time with SD because BM won't get up early to pick up her child like she agreed to when she needed the papers signed?

Quoting WifeyC:

Seriously, why can't SD just go back to her Mom's at 8:30?



Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2014 at 11:21 AM


Quoting grits71:

11 in May - she's the one that I posted about earlier that clings to DH when she there.

Quoting Tigress22304:

Quoting grits71:

I do stay out of it but I can't ignore my husband when he talks to me about it.  What do I say to him?  Hell yeah give up time with your daughter because your lazy a$$ ex-wife won't get up early to meet you??  How is that fair to him?  He's screwed either way.  Either give up time with his daughter or keep a nagging ankle biting dog on his behind.  I don't think she's being fair about this at all.

Quoting Tigress22304:

I think (the best course of action for you) is to just stay out of it-and let them 2 work it out. You can't control her or her actions. Just ignore her and let hubby deal with her.


before I go any further-how old is this girl?

okay then-still a little too young to be traveling 15min on her own-either BM needs to man up and get her daughter on schedule or dh can pop a few bucks towards his son for driving her over.

Honestly I see nothing wrong with him helping if he chooses....BM needs to realize-her child-her responsibility-if she's suppose to pick up SD-then SHE should do it-not her dad-not dh-not you or ss....but since she chooses not to-offer an alternative to where dh doesnt miss out on his time with sd


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