S/O In this day and age...why are so many courts still just auto assigning CP to BM?
My question is, why in this day and age don't more judges look at actual historical parenting and which home is best for kids rather than just relying on the old "mom is best" idea?
From the time the kids were born, my DH was the primary caregiver when the kids were home. BM insisted on daycare even though she didn't have a job most of the time. But when the kids were home, DH was the one giving baths, getting them ready, feeding them, etc as infants, toddlers, wee ones. BM was gone shopping or hanging with friends. This is not my DH's account of things, this is from BM.
When BM filed for divorce, my DH was advised by his attorney that the ONE judge in our precinct that handled family cases would ALWAYS grant custodial rights to the mother unless said mother was in jail. As such, he settled on custody out of court with BM by agreeing to pay her above and beyond normal CS for a 50/50--he essentially agreed to call it CS but it was truly alimony--which FWIW, is not something our state does.
So, that's how MY DH got 50/50 custody. He paid off BM.
When I was a kid, I think that my father's generation was the last generation of men who truly didn't feel like it was their JOB to raise kids. Younger generations of men seem to have a higher rate of involvement. I know that's not always the case but it seems like rather than look at the facts, many judges still just default to CP=Mom without any consideration. I don't think 50/50 is right for every situation, nor do I think every Dad should be in the running for CP. But should Mom be the default??
Why is that?