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Spin off: what do you think about SM's that don't work?

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:20 PM
  • 132 Replies
I got this question in my other post-----
"I have a question. Do you work? Or, is it DH's money going towards YOUR dd's gifts?"

Really??what does that mean??

I'm off with a 1.5 year old. Who cares?! I didn't ask to be a SAHM to my older dds. But with this little crazy girl,we can afford it and I think if you can do it,that's great to be able to see all my dds milestones. I'll go back next year(I wish I could be a SAHM forever!) and work for the next 35 years or until I die.

Is this how others feel and why?or why not?

I can totally see if it's affecting the other kids in the home financially or emotionally but it's not in my stitch.
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by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RitaTequila531
by HushBreatheRelax on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:23 PM
I have a different point of view because I've always brought money to the table. I've always partnered with my SO in financially supporting us.
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MommySabs
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:29 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm a sahm a well. It would cost is so much in child care for me to work it just isn't worth it, so I will go back when my dd starts kindergarten (I am sooo ready at this point LOL). It is an agreement between by husband and I for the best interest of our family as it also allows all the kids to be heavily involved in ec's that we may not be able to get them to otherwise.
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 if the family can afford it then its fine. id love to stay home and even if i did, i still wouldnt be down with being SO and BM's free baby sitter.

twinklebites
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:31 PM

I think it matters to me only when SM, tries to dictated what her SO does with his kids/money. If SM stays home for her children only and DH is supporting all of them, or even in your situation you stay home for a shared child but your DD's reap the benefits of you being home also. I am not saying you dictated what DH does with his money but some do.

 

amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:34 PM
I think every family should do what's right for them.

DH is CP and he doesn't work right now, he's a full time student. It's what works for us.
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:37 PM
5 moms liked this

I think if SM is whining about not having enough money, that dad shouldn't be contributing to "extras" for his older kids, or thinks that mom needs to get a job to support the kids Sm is a hypocrite.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:40 PM
11 moms liked this

It's no different than a bm not working and living off the income her husband brings in....this gets argued in here constantly about how it's bm's choice/right/whatever to be a sahm if it works for her home.

Anyone, bm or sm alike, who chooses to stay home and be supported by their spouse is obviously going to have their spouse supporting kids who are likely not their own biologically.

The only time I have an issue is if either woman (bm or sm) are complaining about not having enough cash for their home and expecting someone else to contribute more...at that point you need to rethink your life choices and get a job.

Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:43 PM
I hear you! My dd has practice on m-w. Other dd tues-thurs. Games on sat. Us usually my mom is the caretaker but her backs been giving her trouble and my dd is the "worst of the bunch" my mom said and my mom can't keep up with her! Lol.

I believe it's an agreement between a dh and wife as well. Shoot! My daddy worked 2 jobs-1 full time and one part time(kick back job) and he loved that my mom stayed home and raised us. We didn't have much extra $ but we had a lot of cool memories and a mama that was home.

I did feel for a while like I was "supporting " my family w my dh just working but I had to slap myself and remember I was doing it for my last dd and I'll be working forever and ever after I start back. I'll be working some overtime when I start back up so we can take some neat trips in the future!:-) I just told my dh,at this time,he can provide the financial stuff as long as he's okay with it:-).



Quoting MommySabs: I'm a sahm a well. It would cost is so much in child care for me to work it just isn't worth it, so I will go back when my dd starts kindergarten (I am sooo ready at this point LOL). It is an agreement between by husband and I for the best interest of our family as it also allows all the kids to be heavily involved in ec's that we may not be able to get them to otherwise.
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suebee3
by on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:43 PM

I stayed home after my second was born.  We have 3 now.  My son will be starting school in sept then I will get a part time thing so I can be with them when they get out of school

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2014 at 1:45 PM
2 moms liked this

What Packer and JLG said. 

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