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Well, apparently that was the wrong thing to say.. **Thought Id let you all know what happened**

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:03 PM
  • 57 Replies
1 mom liked this

BM called me to confirm the meeting time for tonight, then asked if she could have a few extra school pics of SD. I told her i wasnt sure what was left and I would let her know... She asked if I would call her back and let her know.. and I agreed.

I went and checked and all that was left were the wallets.. so i called and told her- and she started cussing?? saying "You have no right to keep the pictures of my child from me.." Im all like wtf?? i would give her the wallets.... She screamed "you need to learn to share" and hung up...

I will NOT be doing drop off tonight... sure hope Dh doesnt have to work over, or she wont be getting SD tonight...

Dh made it off of work, and got me to go with him to drop off, When SD got out of the car, i noticed she had like 12 pair of underware. when questioned SD said she didnt have any at moms. So  i revised what she was taking and let her get out. Well, I mentioned to BM that she was bringing them and BM FLEW OFF THE HANDLE AT DH!!! She started cussing him, telling him that she was capable of getting her own clothes for SD. and that it wasnt fair that he has been keeping SD from her, - then she got all kinds of on to SD *at this point i got back in the car- with SD....Sd was all droopy because she was missing a birthday party this weekend do Dh told BM that what that was about... and she went off AGAIN!! well Dh had had enough.. so he stepped around the car out of earshot of SD and basically told BM to quit her shit or Sd was coming with us! She started balling saying that it just wasnt fair!!... it was nuts! so Dh told her he would see her Sunday- we told SD bye and we left!!- #craycray (we will have to see how this comes out on Sunday!!)

by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
s.mom4real
by Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:04 PM

eta: we have already given her a 4X6, 5X7 and 4 wallets- and she didnt even help pay for them...

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:09 PM
7 moms liked this

Next time just do what we do...give BM a copy of the form and she can order a pack herself.

SassyMom25
by Gold Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:09 PM
If possible...I would send DH with the info so she can buy her own online. Then he should tell her there will be no more 'sharing' of school pictures. If she wants them, she will need to purchase her own.
Newtothis79
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Her yelling and cussing isnt cool... But clearly her words means shes hurting so by not bringing SD to her you will only add to whatever is going on in her mind. Whether you agree or not she obviously feels left out somehow. I dont know the history so I am sure there is more to the story. So maybe rather than reacting to this situation try to get at the root of what could be making her feel / react this way. Dont add to the fire try to put it out.
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 i always give my kids dad a few pix. and SO always gives BM a few pix. but if it was high conflict, we wouldnt give anyone shit, they can order it themselves.

grits71
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:12 PM

DH gave BM money for pics and we never saw them.  Now he just asks for the online info so he can order himself.  It is nice of you to share them with her though:)

oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:14 PM

But, SM is not party to ANY CO or obligated to PUs/DOs, or obligated to take verbal or physical abuse soooo...simple...BM shot herself in the foot...because...SM has absolutely NO obligation to her so, can't be nice...gets to wait on the one who IS obligated to her...dad...BM and BD...the ONLY ones bound by any court order...really bad advice Newtothis...it's called boudaries.

Quoting Newtothis79: Her yelling and cussing isnt cool... But clearly her words means shes hurting so by not bringing SD to her you will only add to whatever is going on in her mind. Whether you agree or not she obviously feels left out somehow. I dont know the history so I am sure there is more to the story. So maybe rather than reacting to this situation try to get at the root of what could be making her feel / react this way. Dont add to the fire try to put it out.

 

oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I get it...boundaries...I wouldn't be doing the PU or DO either if she can't be civil.

Newtothis79
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:18 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally agree with you though.. I am a SM and not a BM and I would never tolerate being talked to that way... And I agree about the boundaries.
But this isn't just about pictures. Saying "you cant keep her from me" says there is more . Why would she say that? So yeah maybe handle this situation by getting her order forms... But also try to figure out why she would say such a thing otherwise if its not the pictures it'll be something else.

Quoting oldproatthis:

But, SM is not party to ANY CO or obligated to PUs/DOs, or obligated to take verbal or physical abuse soooo...simple...BM shot herself in the foot...because...SM has absolutely NO obligation to her so, can't be nice...gets to wait on the one who IS obligated to her...dad...BM and BD...the ONLY ones bound by any court order...really bad advice Newtothis...it's called boudaries.


Quoting Newtothis79: Her yelling and cussing isnt cool... But clearly her words means shes hurting so by not bringing SD to her you will only add to whatever is going on in her mind. Whether you agree or not she obviously feels left out somehow. I dont know the history so I am sure there is more to the story. So maybe rather than reacting to this situation try to get at the root of what could be making her feel / react this way. Dont add to the fire try to put it out.

 

Newtothis79
by on Apr. 17, 2014 at 3:19 PM
Agreed... Question is does she regularly act like that?

Quoting oldproatthis:

I get it...boundaries...I wouldn't be doing the PU or DO either if she can't be civil.

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