BM came into my house this morning to corner my hubby...what would you do?
So, my prior self (6months to a year ago) would have gotten extremely pissed off and let it ruin my whole day after what happened this morning. But, I am happy to say that my stepkids BM no longer gets under my skin the way she used to. I don't allow it anymore. I am very civil with her and we coordinate care for kids bc my husband works 70+ hours a week. She likes me and I choose not to despise her just because of the situation. I have overcome a lot since being involved in this family affair (going on 3 years now). It hasn't been easy but I'm getting there. So, my oldest step daughter has poison ivy from head to toe and her dad was putting on lotion for her in the bathroom when BM came to pick kids up. Since their dad was home this morning, which is very rare, BM decided to corner him in the bathroom because he hasn't responded to her calls/texts about an issue she finds important. SHe knocks on the door, I tell her to come in. SHe says hi to me and my 10 month old playing on the mat and goes straight to the bathroom. Knocks on that door and starts questioning him and complains that he never responds to her. He calmly responds that he works all day everyday and the only reason he is home this morning is because of a shut down at the plant. SHe starts questioning him about this, that, & the other (while he is stil helping his daughter and she is in tears because of her terribly, uncomfortable rash). He asks her if they can discuss any issues later and he doesn't want to do this right now, not here. She ignores his requests and keeps talking and questioning him. He starts to get mad and raises his voice, repeating what he said, asking her to not talk about any issues right now and they can talk later. She continues, saying she doesn't understand why he is getting so upset? Really? She doesn't let up and he tells her to please leave the house. She continues to talk over him until he shuts the bathroom door on her, telling her to leave. She comes out to the living rom with a smile on her face asking where her daughter went. I smile and say "Ok, we'll see you later" as a nice way to say please leave now. Her daughter is still in tears and they both leave. He comes out furious, going on and on about her. She really has no respect or boundaries. We don't like to get nasty with her but she doesn't get it. He doesn't want to tell her she is not allowed in the house but it is getting to that point...at least when he is home. SHe has her own agenda and that is what is most important, it seems, no matter what else is going on around her. Now, my former self woluld have tried to intervene to try and diffuse the situation but that has NEVER worked in the past. It only puts me in the middle when it has nothing to do with me. Nor did I want to be involved or get angry in front of my baby. I was a little annoyed at the fact that she wouldn't let up when he was clearly getting irritated. For the sake of everyone around her, including my son, she should have known better. Then was not the time or the place to discuss any issue with him, especially in front of the kids. No tact. Either way, I was proud of myself. Maybe some of you would have done differently and I'm sure everyone has different relationships with their stepkids BM. But, I do my best to keep the peace & stay out of their arguments. THe most thing I was proud of was not letting her actions or behavior get to me or ruin my day! That feels great!