My husband and I are in Kentucky. He has two children from a previous marriage of 10 years. The SD is 10 and the SS is 8. We have been married for 5 months. To make a long story short, he got screwed in his divorce decree. I'm not a native to Kentucky but his divorce decree only says "liberal visitation". I've never heard or seen anything like it. He never hired an attorney but was under the impression that the attorney that was representing them equally (and paid for half of the bill). According to their child support worksheet last year, they make the same amount of money, however, he is a construction worker. This winter has been absolutely the worst in over 30 years and he has been unable to work for weeks at a time due to an ice or snow storm.(I have made his child support payments ( and Christmas gifts and seasonal clothing change ( In the amount of hundreds of dollars in a matter of months) ...and no, I'm not angry about it..I receive payments from my children from a previous marriage and understand the need). I want a relationship with the stepkids. I don't want to be their mother. They have one. But I want to be respected in my home.
OK....So here's the thing. He has been only allowed visitation when convenient to her. In the last 6 months she has allowed 13 overnight visitations with approx 17 days total of visitation. When he has asked for the kids, she makes excuses like "they have a birthday party or they don't want to see you". When talking to the kids they (specifically the daughter) can never give a reason why she would not to visit. The SS seems to like visiting because I have 3 boys in his age within 3 years both ways. The exwife got off on the wrong foot with me after making a racial slur the first time I met her with my youngest child ( he's mixed). I have documented everything since. The SD has insulted her dad (again she's 10) and both of kids have punched him. I would never allow my kids to do that to me let alone another adult. At first, his response was to tolerate it because he was afraid the kids wouldn't want to visit him if he disciplined them. I told the children that no child in the home would be allow to talk or hit an adult.His kids have stopped hitting, but the SD continues to name call. (The exwife verbally abuses him on multiple occasions in front of her kids and mine.
His ex has called CPS on us, tried to file a DVO, and is now trying to take away all custody and visitation from him. A lot of her behavior started after she found out we were married and moved into the home they once shared ( we drive new vehicles and she drives an old vehicle and has made many negative comments about him driving a new vehicle). She made comments to me when my husband and I were dating that she would do everything in her power to take away his parental rights on multiple occasions. She didn't feel like he needed any contact with his children. I would not exaggerate this. I have 3 children with 2 exhusbands (both who cheated) and even though I don't agree with their lifestyle, I allow the children full visitation and have offered additional visitaiton. The kids will figure out things later. Kids are not stupid. I have never told them why we are divorced either other than "we can't work things out and be togheter and can't be happy together". The DVO and CPS report were found unsubstantiated and we have copies proving such. Now she has filed an order to deny him ANY visitation claiming he is an "alcoholic" and that the children "FEAR" their safety. She is now asking for Guardian ad litem. We are not against the Guardian, but I am worried that she is coaching the children. On top of this, my SS is in the bottom 10% for height and growth. We have asked her about his health and dental health ( he has one of the worst dental cases I have ever seen in a child ( I am a medical provider)). She has refused him to get their information to put them on my medical or dental insurance. Again to make a long story short, we are concerned for the kids and the brainwashing she has done.
She has blocked his phone number, refusing to allow him to talk to the children for over 2 weeks (we have phone records) and when he has been allowed to talk to the kids and starts to talk about future plans, she grabs the phone and claims there is a "protective order" stating that he can't see his kids. There have been no hearing and we have received no order as she claims. The only reason he was allowed to talk to the children after two weeks is because we gave her attorney a response to her affadavit along with proof to her accusations to prove her otherwise. Magically, he was allowed to speak to the kids a day after giving the response to her attorney. He has texted her stating he wants the children for multiple weekends in a row and she refuses stating, "I have a protective order refusing your visitation" and "Talk to my attorney". It has been over 2 months since he has been allowed visitaiton. Again I have all of her behavior documented since I have met her (she rubbed me the wrong way with her inappropriate comments of my mixed child) and the visitation of the kids. All of this is documented in our response to the court. My question....
Has anyone else dealt with this? We are doing this Pro Se. Any advice? Besides "Obtain an attorney". What were the outcomes?