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I dont want any visitors

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:36 PM
  • 150 Replies
After I give birth to my ds2 in july I dont want any visitors during my hospital stay and prob not for the first week or so home .for many reasons so I can bond with my new baby so I can recover and to minimize stress .


I was explaining this to dh last night he said what about sd ? (who is 19)

I said this includes her .he got angry at me .I told him im also including the inlaws my parents my siblings everyone but dh and ds1 .
He said well she expects to be let in the hospital room to see the baby .I told him then tell her I dont want any visitors including her .it turned into a argument .

This really isnt personal against her but our history doesnt help things .i was a csm from 12-18 things were ok but Sd has never liked me no reason other than im not her bm .she has never given me a chance has lied about me to cps (she did same thing to her sd and bm ) and lies about me to pretty much everyone who will listen to her .shes stolen from me and been rude disrespectful since day one .

I dont trust her around my kids because she tried to teach ds1 that shes his mother not me basically anything to make me feel like im not part of the family .even in regards to my child .

she also likes to take pics of herself with my ds and pass him off as hers or put the pics on fb for her mother to see .she tags her mother in the pic so its says "me and my new baby bro with bm name here " so it looks like my child is her mothers to people who dont know .

.im not ok with that and I know its the first thing she will do at the hospital .

She has no respect for me as a person she does not see me as a family member so i dont see why i should make a special exception for her I dont even want my own mother there .


Urghh talk about stress I dont need right now .

Sorry ladies im just venting


by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:42 PM
4 moms liked this

I guess since it's only your child and your home only you get to be the one that decides who comes to the house to see your child all by yourself.

Dewinter
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:49 PM
3 moms liked this
I happen to agree with you. This is not a step daughter is a friend or even friendly to you. Personally I would try to minimize the stress after having a baby. My advice is to put your foot down, demand that she respect you in your own home. And tell your DH she will not be there until you're ready to have visitors.
Closet_Case
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:50 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm the same way about when this baby comes. Restricting visitors as much as possible bc the time leading up to baby is going to be stressful enough, the less added the better
bothsidesofcoin
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this
You have every right to decide who visits you in the hospital. Sounds like DH hasn't seen the FB posts or her behavior or is in denial that his precious ADULT child would behave like that. You have the right to tell SD that now that she is an adult that even after she's allowed to visit that no photos of the new baby or the older child can be posted to FB. You can contact FB and have the photos removed if you want . You are the mother. Not her
babie113
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 2:54 PM
Thanks ladies I just cant deal with her atm I made the mistake of letting everyone who wanted visit me in hospital last time and it was really stressful and tiering .

I cant do that again
babie113
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 3:00 PM
He has seen it but usually she gives him a lame reason why she thinks its ok and he either believes it or takes her side because hes scared to stand up to her . (Hes admitted that)


Sigh shes his only daughter so she gets away with everything .I have a ss too and hes never caused problems but hes always been told off if he was rude .not sd though


Quoting bothsidesofcoin: You have every right to decide who visits you in the hospital. Sounds like DH hasn't seen the FB posts or her behavior or is in denial that his precious ADULT child would behave like that. You have the right to tell SD that now that she is an adult that even after she's allowed to visit that no photos of the new baby or the older child can be posted to FB. You can contact FB and have the photos removed if you want . You are the mother. Not her
packermom4ever
by Still The Queen on Apr. 20, 2014 at 3:07 PM
5 moms liked this

Dad doesn't get to decide who visits his child after it is born? Only the mother does? Who knew mothers had that much control since I've only ever heard that a child has two parents they both get a voice (and that since the house is both adults they get to decide who comes over)?

As for the photos on FB - if you've ever been one to say it is up to the person who decides what is on their FB and that no one can tell another not to put up photos of their kid as long as there is permission from one parent given - you can't complain about your SK doing it if she does with the baby since the kid is both parents and your hubby seems to have no problem.

Unless, again, only mom gets to decide that?

babie113
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 3:14 PM
3 moms liked this
Im the one who will be in the hospital recovering not dh so yes he gets a say but ultimately its my desition .and my dh didnt give her permission to put our sons pics on fb let alone to be passed off as something its not and yes dh did tell me that he was not ok with her behavior and he agrees only we should be putting pics of our child up sd did it behind our backs because her mom wanted to see my child and because sd wanted to pretend the baby is her bms not mine .



Quoting packermom4ever:

Dad doesn't get to decide who visits his child after it is born? Only the mother does? Who knew mothers had that much control since I've only ever heard that a child has two parents they both get a voice (and that since the house is both adults they get to decide who comes over)?

As for the photos on FB - if you've ever been one to say it is up to the person who decides what is on their FB and that no one can tell another not to put up photos of their kid as long as there is permission from one parent given - you can't complain about your SK doing it if she does with the baby since the kid is both parents and your hubby seems to have no problem.

Unless, again, only mom gets to decide that?

whatIknownow
by Emerald Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 3:36 PM
1 mom liked this

How about if SD19 comes to the hospital and sees the baby in the nursery? Dad, SD19 and the baby can all visit with each other for a short while, and you can be taking a nap or something.

babie113
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I room in with baby I never send them to the nursery .I breastfeed and its easier that way (partly why I want privacy at first so I can concentrate on bfing with baby )



Quoting whatIknownow:

How about if SD19 comes to the hospital and sees the baby in the nursery? Dad, SD19 and the baby can all visit with each other for a short while, and you can be taking a nap or something.

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