I haven't posted in a long time so...Background, I am csm to ss18 and sd13. Both kids asked to come live with dh and I on their own due to bm not being able to provide a stable home life for them. She get eowe.
last year sd was cutting, threatened to commit suicide and was all sorts of mentally unstable and almost needed to be committed. We have had her on antidepressants and in weekly therapy and she has been much more stable, or so I thought...
She is 13 in the 7th grade, and just found out she has a 15 yeas old boyfriend (he is in high school) she is not allowed to have a boyfriend because we don't think she can mentally handle that and in past convos sd has agreed with us...but that was a lie. Sd then texted the boyfriend and said that I called her a slut and said she didn't deserve to live here...this was the most hurtful lie. She had no excuse why she said that when I confronted her.
To make matters worse bm has know about the boyfriend for at least a few weeks and allows him to come over her house when she is not there and has allowed sd to go to his house. Bm lied to dh and I last night and claimed that she didn't know but I have sd's phone and have proof. So more lies.
Bm does not co parent with us. She claims she will but then let's sd do what ever she wants while at her house. When bm saw the sexting on sd phone she did look visable horrified. I think bm stupidly thought this was all very innocent but it has been anything but that. And then Bm said we need to work together! Ha!
i also found pictures of sd smoking pot in her phone. Sd has told bm, dh and myself how she knows drugs are bad and she would never do them. There is another lie. I also found an Instagram account which she is also not allowed to have after she posted she wanted to commit suicide on it and one of the teaches saw it before I did and all hell broke lose.
her therapist told me last night that she hasn't mentioned the boyfriend or anything of significance in a few weeks. Why am I taking this kid to therapy when she isn't really using it?
i am hurt by the lies, angry that bm won't coparent and basically undermines everything good we try to do for this kid so when do I get to give up?