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"I'm going to kill myself"

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BM lost custody of SS's 3 years ago due to her drinking.  For the last 3 years it has been hell having to deal with her and the way she treats the kids is disgusting.  Last summer she got 2 Dui's in 2 weeks - 1 for drugs and 1 for alocohol.  She is currently serving weekend jail to fill a 30 day sentence.

She has rarely paid for any of the extras in the last 3 years and has always gotten bitchy and said "take me to court. You won't see a dime".  She's also behind in CS.  Well, DH is sick of her shit and said ok, we'll go to court.  He has been emailing her to get her to pay off the balance and she agreed to send $50 every 2 weeks.  That never happened.  Monday he emailed her and told her she has 30 days to get it paid or he is filing contempt and also having CS reviewed.

Apparently she freaked out and is now telling her family that with all the stress she's under (legal problems, drinking and her DH is the ultimate controlling and abusive dickhead) she's going to kill herself.  If DH files contempt then she automatically loses her permit and could possibly have to spend her 3 years of probation in jail.

DH got a phone call from her brother yesterday asking him to back off BM.  He doesn't care if BM kills herself, but all this stress she's putting on their Grandmother (both parents dead) is starting to affect her health.  Her brother was at her house yesterday because of her suicide threats and told her that she has until Friday to get her DH out of that house or he is calling CPS (for the millionth time and they currently have an open case) and will take custody of her 2 kids with SF.

So, should a parent let the other parent off the hook because they are crying suicide....AGAIN?  She's been doing it for at least 4 years.

by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 11:17 AM
Replies (21-30):
CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this
So she's an addict who plays off others sympathies.... Sounds pretty typical of someone who needs to be cut off

Quoting WifeyC:

She went through 3 months of AA classes through the court and would go home and drink.  She's not ready to get sober because then she would actually have to deal with her problems.  Right now she drinks herself stupid, passes out and tries again the next day.

Quoting Leigh84: I wouldn't let her off the hook. Your DH gave her 30 days. She has time to do something about the money she owes him.

It sounds like her family, or I guess her brother in this case needs to get her some serious help. I think most ppl who scream suicide want attn. unfortunately the few ppl I've known who had committed suicide didn't threaten it. They just did it and left a note. It does sound like BM needs some serious counseling tho. Maybe even some rehab.

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 2:03 PM

I'm wondering if she just said that so he won't file. I don't know how they can do that, I'm skeptical that it's true.

Quoting WifeyC:

She has a suspended license due to DUI's.  The state gave her a permit that she can drive to work, jail, dr and AA meetings.

She told DH that she was told if she has any legal problems then they can revoke her probation and put her in jail.  I wouldn't think the 2 are related, but she claims she specifically asked about it.


Quoting whatIknownow:

What permit?

What is she on probation for, and why would being in contempt for a CS order violate her probation?




WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 2:13 PM

I don't think it's true.  Doesn't really matter since he is going to file if it's not paid.  He doesn't want her to go to jail, just do what she's supposed to.

Quoting whatIknownow:

I'm wondering if she just said that so he won't file. I don't know how they can do that, I'm skeptical that it's true.

Quoting WifeyC:

She has a suspended license due to DUI's.  The state gave her a permit that she can drive to work, jail, dr and AA meetings.

She told DH that she was told if she has any legal problems then they can revoke her probation and put her in jail.  I wouldn't think the 2 are related, but she claims she specifically asked about it.


Quoting whatIknownow:

What permit?

What is she on probation for, and why would being in contempt for a CS order violate her probation?





sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Apr. 24, 2014 at 3:29 PM

Think of it this way...if the shoe were on the other foot, would BM file contempt charges against your DH? 

I'd do that.

Annawest
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 3:37 PM

I say no.  At this point it seems to be a manipulation tatic.  I wouldn't entertain anymore conversations from any of BM's family.

AmericanDream
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 4:39 PM
This!

Quoting Birdseed:

No.  If she says things like that, her friends/family need to call 911 and have her admitted against her will due to her threats to harm herself.  I'm serious.  Someone needs to call her bluff.  Rarely does someone who REALLY plans to harm themself talk about it like that.  It's attention seeking and manipulative. 

DH gave her 30 days this Monday.  There's no need to have any additional contact so he can effectively respect his ex BIL''s request while pushing forward.  She's got 25 more days to get her shit together.

ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 4:53 PM
I can tell you exactly what my DH would do if he were in your DH's shoes. My DH would follow through with what he told her he would do.

Her family really needs to let her hit bottom. Until she truly does and proves that she wants to get better, she won't. She'll just continue to use them. Hopefully her brother pushing for custody of the kids will help her get there.

Just a side note, your DH's case against the BM could actually help the brother get the kids. Might be something for your DH to forward to the brother if he says something again...
LyndaLoo78
by Skeletor on Apr. 24, 2014 at 6:16 PM
That's a big, fat NOPE!!!!
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 8:22 PM

No-she's trying to get her way.

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 8:41 PM
1 mom liked this
DH has already made copies of things the brother could use and gave them to him.



Quoting ramita: I can tell you exactly what my DH would do if he were in your DH's shoes. My DH would follow through with what he told her he would do.

Her family really needs to let her hit bottom. Until she truly does and proves that she wants to get better, she won't. She'll just continue to use them. Hopefully her brother pushing for custody of the kids will help her get there.

Just a side note, your DH's case against the BM could actually help the brother get the kids. Might be something for your DH to forward to the brother if he says something again...
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