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"I'm going to kill myself"

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BM lost custody of SS's 3 years ago due to her drinking.  For the last 3 years it has been hell having to deal with her and the way she treats the kids is disgusting.  Last summer she got 2 Dui's in 2 weeks - 1 for drugs and 1 for alocohol.  She is currently serving weekend jail to fill a 30 day sentence.

She has rarely paid for any of the extras in the last 3 years and has always gotten bitchy and said "take me to court. You won't see a dime".  She's also behind in CS.  Well, DH is sick of her shit and said ok, we'll go to court.  He has been emailing her to get her to pay off the balance and she agreed to send $50 every 2 weeks.  That never happened.  Monday he emailed her and told her she has 30 days to get it paid or he is filing contempt and also having CS reviewed.

Apparently she freaked out and is now telling her family that with all the stress she's under (legal problems, drinking and her DH is the ultimate controlling and abusive dickhead) she's going to kill herself.  If DH files contempt then she automatically loses her permit and could possibly have to spend her 3 years of probation in jail.

DH got a phone call from her brother yesterday asking him to back off BM.  He doesn't care if BM kills herself, but all this stress she's putting on their Grandmother (both parents dead) is starting to affect her health.  Her brother was at her house yesterday because of her suicide threats and told her that she has until Friday to get her DH out of that house or he is calling CPS (for the millionth time and they currently have an open case) and will take custody of her 2 kids with SF.

So, should a parent let the other parent off the hook because they are crying suicide....AGAIN?  She's been doing it for at least 4 years.

by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 11:17 AM
Replies (41-48):
sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:02 PM
No bm does that all the time and she does try but someone usually calls an ambulance and shes put in a mental hospital for a day or two. I wouldnt let her off because of that. Its too much stress? Maybe she should follow court orders in the first place. But i also am unsympathetic at this point to moms who cant get their shit together. I feel bad for the kids and thats all.
stepdiva
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 2:01 PM
Honey if she really wants to kill herself there isn't a lot anyone can say or do to change that.
There is the option of a 51/50, though with our current mental healthcare crisis, I don't know how difficult that could be.
pepper504
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 3:03 PM

Love how people play victim and try to get out of the consequence for their actions (or lack thereof). 

No, he should proceed and if her brother wants to bail her out then more power to him as that is between BM and her brother. 

Betcha if the shoe was on the other foot...she wouldn't have as gracious to your DH as your DH has been to her.  I think THAT is what pisses me off more than anything with regards to BMs like your skids'.

Seychelles1409
by Silver Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 3:22 AM

No way.

Momniscient
by Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 3:27 AM
1 mom liked this
No.
Unfortunately for everyone who has to be involved with toxic people... She is her own problem and therefore she is her family's problem. You can't make compromises for her that hurt the kids

She's made her choices. And I think it's highly unfortunate that her brother chose to saddle you with the emotional burden that he did.

Cut
Contact except
To call 911 if somehow you know she's threatened suicide again
annabl1970
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 7:17 PM
Four years she is threatening with suicide?
It's for sure a manipulation it's her way to avoid to take responsibility for her actions.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 8:27 PM

Yep. She used to tell the kids if they told Dad how bad it was in her home she would kill herself in front of them and they would have to live with that.  She's threatened it on and off.  She has told oldest SS she was going to and he told her to do it and stop telling him about it. It no longer phases him.

Quoting annabl1970: Four years she is threatening with suicide? It's for sure a manipulation it's her way to avoid to take responsibility for her actions.


annabl1970
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2014 at 11:21 PM
She is cold hearted miserable woman
How a parent can tell that kind of sick shit to own children??:(:(

Quoting WifeyC:

Yep. She used to tell the kids if they told Dad how bad it was in her home she would kill herself in front of them and they would have to live with that.  She's threatened it on and off.  She has told oldest SS she was going to and he told her to do it and stop telling him about it. It no longer phases him.

Quoting annabl1970: Four years she is threatening with suicide?
It's for sure a manipulation it's her way to avoid to take responsibility for her actions.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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