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How many of you that give that "advice" have actually ever been? 

It isn't cheap, it isn't easy, and most don't want to go.

And if the advice is given to a SM whining about what mom isnt  doing while her husband isn't doing those things being whined about either, he isn't going to win. 

by on Apr. 24, 2014 at 3:39 PM
Replies (11-20):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 4:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Court is a pain in the ***. It should be a last resort. I haven't been back to court with exh. Dh did take bm back to court and got 95% of what he wanted out of it and it was worth it as it was a last resort.
I have reminded exh on the rare occasions he has threatened to take me back that, that is fine if he feels it is worth losing the option of decided between us how to parent our kids and having someone who doesn't know them or has only briefly met them determine how we are allowed to parent.
soonergirl980
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:07 PM

My ex took me to court, went through like 7 lawyers, multiple medations, months of stress or to turn around and never excerise a single day of anything. He saw DS 1 time for 5 minutes because he called and wanted him last minute for the weekend at christmas and 5 minutes is all i would give him to hand over his presents. 4 months later he was in court signing over his rights. It was a total waste and he only did it to please his wife and parents.

kristen518-06
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:16 PM
3 moms liked this
Been to court with my exh and won and dh took bm to court and also won. Worth every last penny

Eta, I know it isn't fun or cheap and can be very time consuming but sometimes it's the only way to get things done or to get the other parents attention
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:17 PM

Have you been to court?

Quoting melyndaann:

If you think it's court worthy, then it is...Plain and simple.

Quoting Singlemama52: What about if you have a toddler who is in intensive therapy due to being delayed from prematurity.. And the therapy can place the toddler on hold, but his place will not be there when he gets back from dads 30 day visitation. The dad doesn't check in with CP nor therapist regarding how the child is doing and if the child is progressing. The father refuses to acknowledge the child may need some help and thinks his 30 day visitation is more important, and the CP has sent the evaluation the child had to NCP. CP offered to split the 30 days of summer up to one week a month starting from May to August but NCP won't agree. Is that court worthy? NCP is far away too and would not be able to take the child to therapy.
Quoting packermom4ever:

I've been to court. One time only. My ex wanted it and it backfired on him. I didn't want to go. It took about 6 months from beginning to end and thousands of dollars. 

And now here we are not following it and he isn't even around to follow it. It was a waste of time and money and I do what I want anyway.



leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:17 PM
1 mom liked this
I haven't been personally but I have had close relatives involved and they have won, and my husband had a good experience in court, that usually happens when the other party has no case and you are able to provide evidence to contradict their affidavits.

I think individuals have to decide what is worth the fight to them.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
melyndaann
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:25 PM

No, we have not.  Luckily everyone in our situation (BM, her boyfriend, DH, and I) are very good at co-parenting and working together.  We've never had a disagreement that couldn't be solved between the four of us.  We all prefer it this way.

If it ever came to a point where our cooperation ceased, DH and I would not hesitate to go to court.  We've already made that decision together.  I really hope it doesn't and at this point we never see it going there.  It's good to be on the same page in case though.

Quoting pdxmum:

Have you been to court?

Quoting melyndaann:

If you think it's court worthy, then it is...Plain and simple.

Quoting Singlemama52: What about if you have a toddler who is in intensive therapy due to being delayed from prematurity.. And the therapy can place the toddler on hold, but his place will not be there when he gets back from dads 30 day visitation. The dad doesn't check in with CP nor therapist regarding how the child is doing and if the child is progressing. The father refuses to acknowledge the child may need some help and thinks his 30 day visitation is more important, and the CP has sent the evaluation the child had to NCP. CP offered to split the 30 days of summer up to one week a month starting from May to August but NCP won't agree. Is that court worthy? NCP is far away too and would not be able to take the child to therapy.
Quoting packermom4ever:

I've been to court. One time only. My ex wanted it and it backfired on him. I didn't want to go. It took about 6 months from beginning to end and thousands of dollars. 

And now here we are not following it and he isn't even around to follow it. It was a waste of time and money and I do what I want anyway.

 

 

 



RonansMommy02
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:33 PM

We're in this situation right now. BM is calling all the shots and there isn't a thing we can do about it because DF is a long haul trucker so court would not go in his favor, and would probably result in him seeing his son less than he does now. 

They are getting a custody agreement written up and signed by a judge through mediation though...I'm thankful that she's atleast being cooperative in that aspect.

Annawest
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:37 PM

I think when it's truly in your child's best interest it is always court worthy.  I would exhaust every option I could think of giving NCP before filing in court.  But if my child needed therapy I would do what I needed to do to ensure that is happened.

Quoting Singlemama52: What about if you have a toddler who is in intensive therapy due to being delayed from prematurity.. And the therapy can place the toddler on hold, but his place will not be there when he gets back from dads 30 day visitation. The dad doesn't check in with CP nor therapist regarding how the child is doing and if the child is progressing. The father refuses to acknowledge the child may need some help and thinks his 30 day visitation is more important, and the CP has sent the evaluation the child had to NCP. CP offered to split the 30 days of summer up to one week a month starting from May to August but NCP won't agree. Is that court worthy? NCP is far away too and would not be able to take the child to therapy.
Quoting packermom4ever:

I've been to court. One time only. My ex wanted it and it backfired on him. I didn't want to go. It took about 6 months from beginning to end and thousands of dollars. 

And now here we are not following it and he isn't even around to follow it. It was a waste of time and money and I do what I want anyway.


mrsd2013
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Court is h*ll.  I went to court over ds.  That wasn't too bad because we didn't really fight.  Bf is no longer in my ds's life.  Watching what DH and BM are going through is a whole other story!  Dh didn't want to go to court and put it off as long as possible but is doing what he feels is best for ss.

JTROX
by Member on Apr. 24, 2014 at 5:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm glad my steps are grown and we don't have to go to court about them anymore.  Woohoo!

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