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Saying "Dad" vs "Your Dad"

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 11:58 AM
  • 75 Replies

When I was married to BF, I would say things like "Daddy isn't home yet" or "Dad is napping".  I didn't include a "your".  Didn't even think about it.

Now with DH, when I speak with his kids, I add the "your" as in "Your dad will be home soon".  

And even with DDs, I add the "your" when referencing BF.

The "your" indicates that I am not a primary part of the daddy relationship.  At least to me it does.  DH is not my daddy partner.  And BF is no longer my daddy partner.

Just noodling.  Not even sure I'm making sense.  Headache and only one cup of coffee so far.  There is an intimacy to leaving off the "your" that I don't have with either man in a parenting role.  And just thinking about DH saying "DD, Mom needs you" is just weird.  

What do you do?  Have you ever even thought about it?

by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 11:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:01 PM
1 mom liked this

Now that you say it I say "your Dad' when talking to SS's and "Daddy" when talking to DS.  I never really put much thought into it.

RobsPrincess24
by ThePrincess on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:02 PM

I've done both. I don't really think about it, it's just whatever comes out of my mouth. I do understand where you are coming from though.

sophiesister2
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:07 PM
I just have always said your dad. It would be weird to say dad is at work. Maybe itll be different once we have a child together but i doubt it.
squeakers2
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:11 PM
I've always said dad whether I'm talking to my 2 or SS, even before mine were born. Don't know why. DF will say mom when talking to the little ones, but normal says your mom when talking to SS.
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wise.toes
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:14 PM

when speaking to my stepsons about their dad, i say "your dad"

when speaking to all of them about him, i say "ryan slash daddy" lol when he refers to me to all the kids he says "jen slash mommy" 

when speaking to my kids about their dad, i just say dad or daddy.

twinklebites
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Never thought of it, BF and I seperated when the kids were 18 months, I never changed  saying " Daddy is here for for..." To So's kids its "your Dad"

grits71
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:20 PM

Me too - whatever comes out.  He is dad regardless of who he is married to. I'm more cautious about me moreso than dad since I'm mom and stepmom.  The skids use the "Your mom" when talking to ds.  At least ds hasn't started asking why they don't all have the same mommy yet!Lol

Quoting RobsPrincess24:

I've done both. I don't really think about it, it's just whatever comes out of my mouth. I do understand where you are coming from though.


sid1083
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:26 PM
2 moms liked this

I heard the same thing during the mandated parenting class to finish out my custody order. It's like saying "your" preceeding the other parent assigns a negative connotation . . . whereas (s)he was good enough before, now adding a "your" first creates distance and disdain for the other parent.

CFSTBSM27
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:32 PM
BM says "your dad" and with SF it's "daddy" meh her house whatever. I say both when SD is over
MichelleNichole
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 12:36 PM
My step sons I say either one. With my children I say just "daddy"
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