Hi all...I'm back. It seems I'm only ever here to ask 'what now?!' . You ladies usually have good advice so...
my dh's ex has finally agreed to communicate by email...although she does still drag sd into it, which DH tries to avoid. Last week bm emailed DH asking if he wanted a 'pistol' she found. Let me put it this way: DH took what he wanted when he left 7 years ago. Really, it's just attention getting, she ended up having sd ask us if we wanted it, knocking on our door to deliver the 'pistol', we didn't answer the door (because she can suck it) or the email (because this has nothing to do with sd). She had sd15 deliver it to us...that's strange enough because she insisted it was a real gun...but it turned out to be a replica. A toy. Seriously. This all happened in a few hours. It certainly wasn't that important.
this week bm wants to know if DH is ok with sd walking around a fair with sd's boyfriend. Bm will be there. Now, before we checked the email sd came in and told us her mom wants DH to text or call her with a response. Umm...We know, for a fact, that she has let sd do more than this with a boy. For example, she let sd go to the movies alone with a boy when she was 12. she was even going to let her drive in a car with a bunch of boys that bm has never met. (These are not things we agree with. DH has told bm he doesn't approve but it's not as if he forbade anything). Besides that she enrolled sd in a school without even asking DH. Not sure why she suddenly cares what we think, except...she thinks we are going to take these emails and try to make her look bad with them somehow. That's not our plan, we just wanted her to stop blowing up his phone.
DH and I were discussing both these emails and we thought about a response. So here are the questions: first, should we ignore the pistol email or just say back 'this has nothing to do with sd'? Second, should we respond about the fair situation 'your house, your rules' or should we say 'not sure why you care suddenly...stop putting sd in the middle...I'm not going to call/text you so stop asking sd to be the go between, etc'.