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I feel like a jerk

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:28 PM
  • 31 Replies
3 moms liked this
My SD7 always asks me to sleep with her when she is over and I always tell her no. My reasons are nothing but selfish... I like sleeping in my own bed with my husband, and I want to stay up later than she goes to bed. Am I mean? I don't sleep with my own kids for the same reasons if that helps at all, and I do play with her I just don't want to sleep with her...
by on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
oldproatthis
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Perfectly fine, healthy boundary...just tell her no politely and kindly.
EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:30 PM
Thanks, I'm always very nice about it.

Quoting oldproatthis: Perfectly fine, healthy boundary...just tell her no politely and kindly.
Boobear110
by Audra on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Nothing wrong with that at all. 

I slept with my DD when she was small but only because she had severe sleep apnea and I needed to be right there with her incase she stopped breathing. 

I hated it though. The squirming and the kicking. Ugh. I don't like to be touched while I'm sleeping. She was always a cuddler. Still is.

jules2boys
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:39 PM
2 moms liked this
How about compromising and offer to lay with her for 20 minutes or so and read to her or watch a movie or just quietly chat until she falls asleep? Then stay up as long as you like and sleep with your DH. Or have you tried this before?

Otherwise I agree, perfectly acceptable boundary and response.
EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:41 PM
That had to have been scary :(

Quoting Boobear110:

Nothing wrong with that at all. 

I slept with my DD when she was small but only because she had severe sleep apnea and I needed to be right there with her incase she stopped breathing. 

I hated it though. The squirming and the kicking. Ugh. I don't like to be touched while I'm sleeping. She was always a cuddler. Still is.

mrsd2013
by Silver Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:41 PM
You're not a jerk. I agree with the healthy boundary comment. I think a 7 year old should be sleeping by herself anyway. Although my ds (now 10) would sneek in with me (when I was single) from time to time.
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:42 PM

I love sleeping with my DDs.  To this day, I enjoy it and they are 17 and 19.

key word is "my".  I would be completely uncomfortable sleeping with someone else's child.

And DDs are uncomfortable sleeping with me when DH is home.

EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:43 PM
1 mom liked this
I do that occasionally. Mostly I try to encourage dh to do that instead of me though. It's a good idea; I should probably do it more often.

Quoting jules2boys: How about compromising and offer to lay with her for 20 minutes or so and read to her or watch a movie or just quietly chat until she falls asleep? Then stay up as long as you like and sleep with your DH. Or have you tried this before?

Otherwise I agree, perfectly acceptable boundary and response.
EricaG87
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:44 PM
She says it's because she doesn't get to see me enough and wants to be with me so that kinda makes me feel like a douche lol

Quoting mrsd2013: You're not a jerk. I agree with the healthy boundary comment. I think a 7 year old should be sleeping by herself anyway. Although my ds (now 10) would sneek in with me (when I was single) from time to time.
keri5374
by Member on Apr. 25, 2014 at 10:45 PM
FSD7 always wants me to sleep with her too. Says it's unfair that Daddy and I always get to have someone to sleep with :)

I lay down with her at night, we read and then I play with her hair until she falls asleep. I sometimes wonder if she's too old for this but I figure that sometime in the very near future she will stop asking me to lay down with her and then I will miss it. So I do it as long as she continues to ask!
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