SD opted to act out and write a suicide note to give to the counselor at school, get an ambulance ride to the hospital, and commit herself. There was no intent to harm herself - it was all manipulative. MIL blamed it on DH. The therapist tried to explain to her that typical kids don't do this even after a big disappointment, but MIL just blames DH (note the shift - she no longer blames me, but must blame someone. SD can't be held responsible). It cones put later that the night before, SD snuck out (no word on why the security system wasn't armed), couldn't get back in, and had to be let in by MIL. MIL screamed obscenities at her, called her a slut among other things and THIS is what led to the incident with the note. MIL was not pleased when we found out
MIL tried to again turn it back to DH (again he is a complete jerk for forgetting), saying that SD walked around all day saying 'how could my dad forget?', 'what kind of dad forgets?', and other things. I don't doubt this. I watched this every birthday when her mother wouldn't send anything or call or her grandparents wouldn't call - MIL herself never acknowledged SD's birthday in any way ever until she saw her next, sometimes months later. We would talk to SD about it, text BM, ask if she wanted to call, distract her by going places, and above all not let her mind get stuck on it. This was when she was in a much healthier mental state.
I am wondering what the rational would be to let her get more and more miserable? By 5pm, it must have been obvious that he had forgotten or was distracted - how hard would it have been to text him for her sake? This is a child who self harms at the slightest provocation, why would MIL let her continue to get more upset like that? Before anyone says it, it has already been yelled at DH, why would he make the situation worse by forgetting!!!