Some times an "interferring" "overstepping" SM would be nice
DD(8) recently had her first overnight with Dad. One 24 hour period which will increase to 33 next time and then 45 in 6 months. First time in two years do to DV, abuse and neglect. The problems mentioned were ongoing during the two year period in which he had 10 hours, one day a week and then 12 hours EOW, reduced by agreement.
Dad had stated previously to DD's counselor and the Court at the hearing for overnights that he had clothes, etc. on hand for DD. He was questioned about this due to not providing for her needs previously. This led to me not sending things for her other than a few favorite toys and two pairs of shoes.
In the end Dad had close to nothing. He did have an Easter dress and a lair of yoga pants his Mom purchased. No underwear, toothbrush, toiletries, etc. DD ended up having to wear dirty underwear and do without the other things.
In addition they (Dad, GF, baby and DD) were travelling home from an event. DD told her Dad she needed to use the restroom and he refused to stop. DD even saw a place she recognized and asked to stop there, Dad lied and said they don't have restrooms. In the end DD ended up going in her pants. Dad then took her grocery shopping a few minutes from his house instead of taking her home to change first. When they did get home he did not help her to clean up and of course she had nothing clean to put on.
The issue that caused the counselor to question him about what he had on hand for DD very closely mirrors what happened at this past visit. At that time I emailed him about it and asked that he address the issue. I'm not saying anything this time.
Anyway, for these issues I would have more than welcomed a SM who stepped in an did "Dad's job" for him. who encouraged Dad to purchase things for DD when DD came over without them, helped DD by washing what she did have, advocated for Dad to stop so DD could use the restroom and/or spoke up about the appropriateness of leaving DD in urine soaked clothing.
It is interesting how a possible issue you fear having to deal with can end up being far less worrisome than the alternative.