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Would you have read them?

Posted by on May. 1, 2014 at 11:22 AM
  • 58 Replies

I just got done having a talk with a subordinate, she is 23 never married, no kids. She just moved in with her boyfriend of 6 weeks, he is 29 divorced  with 2 children.

The issue he was cleaning out stuff he had in storage to move into a new apartment together, he put stuff in storage when he moved out of the home with his now exwife. He threw away cards that she(XW) had sent when he was on deployment , while they were married. New GF GETS THEM OUT OF THE TRASH!! and reads them and gets mad that he still has them. Her attitude sucked today and I called her on it, she then proceeded to cry and tell me the story. I had a hard time not rolling my eyes, I asked her why she read them, she had to she needed to know what XW used to write. Of course a huge fight ensued and she thinks he is a jerk.

I told her that last May when I moved I also found "love" letter from EX's and I threw them away also, no big deal. According to her immediately upon separation or divorce you should get rid of everything that links you to the EX...I told her I really like my kids, so there's that. I think this girl is going to have a great time.

So the question would you have read them? I would have but I would not have picked them out of the trash. I'm nosy like that but if my feelings got hurt I can only blame my self.

by on May. 1, 2014 at 11:22 AM
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Replies (1-10):
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:25 AM
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I would have read them, I am very nosy but I wouldn't have gotten upset about it, they are divorced.

tiredmama42
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this

I found naked pics of my ex DH's ex girlfriend. I threw them away.  I never said anything though and he never asked about them.  Cards.. I would read too if in front of me.  I would not dig in trash though.  She is in for a tough road already if that upset her that much. SMH. 

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:35 AM

I would have read them, but I wouldn't have pulled them out of the trash.

mrsd2013
by Bronze Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:42 AM
1 mom liked this
I am also nosy. So nosy that dh would have taken them to the trash can so I wouldn't be attempted. He gets me. Lol. If I did read them, I would only have myself to blame for the emotions that followed.

Why would she get mad? He was throwing them out now?? Insecurity?
pepper504
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:42 AM
1 mom liked this

She's 23 and immature.  Who gets mad at something that was tossed in the damn trash??? Oh a kid. 

No, I wouldn't have read them if they were already in the trash.  I have found some cards that were in boxes that DH had that BM wrote to him.  I read them and laughed.  What has he done with them, IDK nor do I care.  It's his past and everyone has one.

HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:43 AM
I'm a sentimental sort. I would have gathered them, stacked them, and tied them with a ribbon. Would I have read them? Maybe - depends on my mood and wine/chocolate supply!

Just read an article not to long ago about a woman who found her grandparent's love letters from WWII. Letters are a lost art, I think.
Closet_Case
by Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:44 AM
The card I found from my husband's ex to him opened up a lot of doors for us to discuss his past relationship but it didn't really cause any arguments. Apparently she used different names while they were together because she signed the card Grace B***** before they were even married...
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:46 AM
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If I found them on my own, I probably would've read them but I wouldn't have gotten bent out of shape. 

I would not have pulled anything out of the garbage.  And if HAD pulled them out of the garbage, that right there would've indicated to me that they were unimportant to DH at this time. 

I think your employee is suffering from "teenaged dating/break up" syndrome.  Ya know, where you keep all this junk (first flowers, notes, etc) and then when you break up, you dramatically burn them with all your friends circled around.  Very dramatic.  Also very silly.

Next, I think a lot of young people have this idea that they want to start their lives "fresh" with someone. Not hard to do when you meet and marry in college.  A little harder when you're out in the real world where people have history, prior marriages, kids!  I remember feeling a little sad when I got older and realized that from then on out, pretty much any guy I was going to meet would have already been married and likely had kids.  I felt like I was mourning the loss of firsts.  That's what I call it.  No first marriage to share together. No first child.

I got over it obviously. But it's a young person's first world problem. 

KnowItAll
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:53 AM
I probably would have read them, but only for entertainment. I'm not the jealous type AT ALL...just the curious type.
twinklebites
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2014 at 11:53 AM

 The retrieving from the trash is what got me. She saw absolutely nothing wrong with it. I was her normal. ugh She transfers in a month. I cant wait!

Quoting pepper504:

She's 23 and immature.  Who gets mad at something that was tossed in the damn trash??? Oh a kid. 

No, I wouldn't have read them if they were already in the trash.  I have found some cards that were in boxes that DH had that BM wrote to him.  I read them and laughed.  What has he done with them, IDK nor do I care.  It's his past and everyone has one.

 

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